Rules of Beacon
by FunahoMisaki
Summary: Well I'm already doing a Cards against Remnant one so I figured I might as well do this too...based off of Rules and Guidelines for a Better Beacon Experience... Most of the rules are centered around Ruby, since she's one of my favs, so feel free to suggest Rules and jokes in reviews. AU OOC maybe femslash in some parts, definite bashing in others. rated T for cursing
1. Chapter 1

**Beacon Rules**

 **By: FunahoMisaki**

 **(A/N: I own nothing and I saw two story with this kind of thing…so I decided to make another one! Slightly AU and OOC possible femslash and bashing in parts)**

 _To Ozpin's credit, he knew that this was probably going to be a bad idea later on. He was just too busy trying to hunt down more coffee to care as the List took on a life of its own. Once he finally realized it, he thought it was hilarious._

 **1\. If it's cute, it can kick your ass in humiliating ways**

 **A. This goes double for any students that are deemed 'cute'**

 _Team CRDL made the mistake of bullying Velvet in front of Ruby Rose thinking she couldn't do anything because in their words 'she's too cute to be dangerous'…they're expected to wake up some time next week and Ruby said she let them off lightly. When they attacked Ruby in retaliation, Velvet hospitalized them for a month using nothing but some pie and fishing line._

 **2\. Yes Ruby is sweet and cheerful most of the time, no she is not a Yandere**

 **It is to be noted that she DOES know what that word means and doesn't like being called one**

 _Turns out that due to how cute and innocent she was CRDL spread rumors that Ruby was secretly a Yandere and a few people believed them, when she found out she spent half an hour crying._

 **3\. FOR THE LOVE OF MONTY DO NOT MAKE RUBY ROSE CRY!**

 _Turns out that she has LOTS of friends both with the Beacon Students, the Teachers, several so called Civilians, some people from Vale's Criminal World, and various people from other countries here for the tournament…and they were all more than happy to kick the asses of Team CRDL for making Ruby cry. Most of the authority figures looked the other way once they learned WHY the various people had beaten up the four boys._

 **4\. Just because Ruby's cute does not mean you can try and kidnap her.**

 **Please read about how many people were happy to kick the asses of Team CRDL for making her cry, what do you think they'd do to someone who kidnaps her?**

 _Roman and the White Fang grunts who had kidnapped her found that out the hard way_

 **5\. For everyone's sake, don't try and tease Ruby with cookies by holding them out of her reach**

 _Team CRDL learned the hard way that there was a REASON Ruby had been able to be advanced two years and her overprotective friends had nothing to do with it_

 **6\. Just because her semblance is Speed does not mean you can use her as a carrier service**

 **A. Don't bother asking her, that's just taking advantage of her kindness**

 _Quite a lot of people thought she'd make a great delivery girl and she was too nice to say no, Goodwitch had a very stern talking to with everyone for taking advantage of her while Ruby was in the med-bay for exhaustion after being ran ragged._

 **7\. Just because her stamina is massive does not mean Ruby doesn't need a break, EVERYONE needs a break once in a while.**

 _This came about when CRDL kept running Ruby all over the place with various 'requests' and the poor girl collapsed halfway up a flight of stairs due to lack of sleep. It's only thanks to luck that Goodwitch was in the area and had caught the girl before she got badly hurt._

 **8\. If you hurt or cause any kind of harm to Ruby Rose, we are not held responsible for how badly you get your ass kicked nor will we cover your hospital bills.**

 **A. We DID warn you**

 _Ruby's sister and friends were less than pleased with CRDL for using Ruby like that, on the upside the boys were too scared to even look at Ruby for a week afterwards. The boys were still in detention however._

 **9\. Ozpin and Goodwitch aren't dating or romantically interested in each other, they are merely co-workers and friends.**

 **A. Yes we do hear the rumors and you're not saying anything we haven't heard thousands of times before but it is still annoying**

" _With the way the students acted you'd swear we were married!" Goodwitch said fed up when she heard a rumor about why she and Ozpin were so close for the thousandth time that day._

 **10\. Breaking down doors and walls does give you an epic entrance, but it is not advisable**

 **A. You'll be paying for the repairs out of your own wallets.**

" _Crap! Guess I gotta just open the doors regularly now." Yang was very upset by this new rule_

 **11\. Ms. Schnee may have been a former musical star, but that does not mean she will sing anytime you ask her too.**

 **A. Despite how effective it is when** _ **she**_ **does it, don't try to replicate Ruby's puppy dog pout to make her sing. It won't work and they both will be pissed at you for trying**

" _As if anyone can replicate the dolt's puppy dog pout." Weiss said crossing her arms and not looking at her team leader._

 **12\. Don't make Yang cry.**

 **A. We warned you**

 _No one knew what that Atlas guy had said to her but when Yang broke down sobbing, Ruby broke the boy. She might not be as violent as her sister usually but make her older sister cry and she will be more violent than a dozen Grimm combined…and five times as terrifying._

 **13\. Okay I didn't think this would actually have to put up but apparently you guys can't get the hint…so…DON'T PISS OFF RUBY ROSE!**

 **A. That means no attacking her team and friends.**

 **B. Don't insult her friends either**

 **C. Don't steal her cookies**

 **D. For the love of Monty just stop! She will kill you at this rate CRDL!**

 _Angered at their easy defeat at her hands, Team CRDL tried attacking or angering Ruby in any way…they now had their own beds in the med bay and a slightly growing fear of the younger girl._

 **14\. Glynda Goodwitch does not need to get laid, stop trying to hook her up with someone.**

 **A. We don't care if it's girls or guys just stop. You don't want to piss her off and you're getting there.**

 _Yang thought Goodwitch needed to get laid and tried getting the stern woman to go clubbing with her, she only stopped when Goodwitch got annoyed and went to Ruby who promptly kicked her sister's ass until she promised to stop._

 **15\. While not usually encouraged, beating the crap out of your teammates is a way to prove to them that you are the leader…and as a way to discipline your team.**

 **A. Weiss you aren't going to become leader if you win against Ruby, stop trying. You don't win anyways, she's too fast for your glyphs.**

 **B. While leaders disciplining their teams through proving their 'dominance' is okay, three seventeen year olds ganging up on a fifteen year old will rub people the wrong way and get you in trouble whether they know about the so called 'team training' or not.**

 _Weiss somehow convinced Yang and Blake to attack Ruby at the same time with her…Ruby didn't have to fight them. They hadn't noticed Coco and Velvet on the sidelines until the two had knocked out all three girls. After finding out it was a semi-regular occurrence for her to be attacked…both older girls spirited Ruby to their room for the weekend to protect her they eventually gave her back to her team…they were still walking her almost everywhere whenever they could though._

 **16\. While acceptable and even encouraged against the Grimm, ganging up on and sneak attacking a fellow student or Huntsman is highly dishonorable and** _ **will**_ **get you in trouble.**

 **A. You boys should have known this was going to happen eventually**

 _Team CRDL kept trying to prove their 'dominance' to Ruby by sneak attacking her and ganging up on her…usually she beat them to a pulp in a minute, one time they made the mistake of attacking her around someone else…on the plus side Yang got along with that Arslan girl from Haven due to their shared love of beating the crap out of people with their fists._

 **17\. Team CRDL…please just stop. One of these days we won't be able to help you after you pissed off one of Ruby's usually powerful friends.**

 **A. Just stop attacking Ruby all together, it never ends well for you four!**

 _They really should have known better than trying to attack Ruby from behind on the streets…especially with all the people from the other schools around. On the plus side Yang was happy that her sister was making even more friends that were protective enough to beat up whatever idiot attacked Ruby and the boys weren't unconscious for too long this time._

 **18\. Ruby Rose and Pyrrha Nikos are not allowed to spar for fun…or fight against each other at all.**

 **A. Because we like to keep the school standing thank you!**

 _The two were the strongest of their generations…naturally a fight between a girl moving at super speeds on a regular basis and a girl who has polarity for a semblance equals massive property damage and Pyrrha finding someone who can hold their own against her for more than ten minutes._

 **19\. All fanclubs are to be warned, if you are caught stalking the object of your affections then the teachers will only keep them from killing you and bring you to the med-bay.**

 **A. We won't stop them from kicking your ass.**

 _Reese of Team ABRN had spotted someone stalking Ruby when she was hanging out with their team talking about weapons and the differences in the kingdoms and told her teammates about it. The boy turned out to be a fanboy that was a senior at Signal…he's expected to recover motor functions sometime within the next month._

 **20\. Please note that just because she's stern, it does not mean that Professor Goodwitch doesn't care. She's just better at hiding it.**

 **A. Attack her students around her at your own peril…**

 **B. This goes double if you attack Ruby, Goodwitch DOES have maternal instincts after all**

 _Some no name team from Mistral tried attacking Ruby, seeing her young age as a slight against them for some reason…Goodwitch handed them their asses on a silver platter without her weapon, made sure Ruby was okay, and then took the younger girl out for cookies._

 **21\. Unless your name is Nora Valkyrie you aren't allergic to boredom**

 **A. And yes her allergy is legit, confirmed with doctors and everything.**

 **22\. For the love of Oum, Nora and Ruby are not allowed to have or be alone in the same room as Coffee, candy, or sugar in general.**

 **A. Those two are crazy enough as it is, we don't need them both hyper.**

 **B. One of them hyper at a time is bad enough, both of them hyper at the same time…**

 _Let's just say that Beacon got a new paint job… and they still didn't know how the girls did it. At least when she was off of her sugar high Ruby was sorry about what she had done… Nora not so much._

 **23\. Do not attempt to 'Boop' anyone, that is Nora's thing and she will hurt you if you steal it.**

 **A. She says that it's okay if Ruby and Ren do it though**

 _One of the older girls thought it was cute and used it on her boyfriend… Nora sent them both to the hospital but they were hurt badly._

 **24\. It is a known fact that Ruby seems to blame herself anytime something goes wrong, she is no longer aloud to do that**

 **A. If you hear or see her blaming herself feel free to talk her out of it or take her to Goodwitch.**

 _Team CRDL blamed her for things going wrong and being the sweet but naïve girl she is, Ruby beloved that everything wrong was her fault. All the stress and blaming herself had gotten to her and she had a small mental breakdown in front of Goodwitch. She'll be okay, Team CRDL not so much._

 **25\. I don't care what the reasons, due to her naïve and innocent nature Ruby is not to be left alone with any male over the age of fourteen. At least two other girls or Goodwitch must be present.**

 **A. I thank the teams from Atlas, Haven, and Mistral that are helping with this rule especially.**

 **B. Correction, two girls that don't knee the boy over fourteen must be present.**

 _One boy from Haven tried taking advantage of Ruby's innocence, he's luck that Nora only broke two of his legs instead of all three… the boy's girlfriend wasn't happy when she learned why he had been brutally sterilized._


	2. Chapter 2

**Beacon Rules**

 **By: FunahoMisaki**

 **(A/N: I own nothing and read last chapter)**

 **26\. Don't touch Yang's hair**

 **A. The girl lights** _ **herself**_ **on fire she will light you on fire too**

 _Jaune got revenge on Cardin, he pretended to cut Yang's hair when she wasn't looking then tossed Cardin the scissors and walked off_

 **27\. Do not EVER claim your weapon is better than Ruby's where she can hear you**

 **A. Cardin's pride has yet to recover**

 _Cardin tried claiming his weapon was better…Ruby gave his weapon the dressing down of the century, he has yet to regain his pride._

 **28\. Attempting to steal Blake's copy of Ninja's of Love will result in her beating you up.**

 _Unfortunately Ruby and Dr. Oobleck were walking by and heard the commotion, rather than saving the poor man they joined in, Ruby just because she heard Blake got stolen from, Oobleck because team RWBY are his favorite team to ever attend beacon (whether this is because Ruby is the only one able to keep up with him has not been confirmed)._ _ **Thank you nahte123456 for that one**_

 **29\. Will Cinder Fall and her teammates stop whatever they're plotting?**

 **A. There's enough insanity going on around here thank you**

 _Cinder wasn't as good as hiding her plans as she thought, she didn't mind though at the rate Beacon was going it would destroy itself and take everything else down with it._

 **30\. I don't know who had the bright idea of switching the coffee in the teachers lounge from decaf to expresso but they are in so much trouble when Goodwitch catches them**

 **A. If you thought Oobleck was bad normally…you had seen nothing yet**

 **B. Coco why were you in the teachers lounge?**

 _Coco had been running an errand for Professor Port to put something in the teachers lounge and helped herself to the coffee while she was at it…it took her two seconds to figure out what happened…another two minutes to find Goodwitch and warn her_

 **31\. Please note that Ruby is the youngest student at Beacon…most of the school is wrapped around her finger…don't attack her around us**

 **A. Especially around the teachers**

 **B. And the older years**

 _Team CRDL was slowly finding out that Ruby was the 'baby' of the school…and quite a lot of people were protective of the baby_

 **32.** **When in a bar, never come between Yang and her Strawberry Sunrise. Sincerely, people don't, it has a reason Junior only now made a reappearance (we still hope to find Tifa, someday)**

 _One of the fourth years tried getting in between Yang and her drink…they're still therapy_

 **33\. If you hear someone complain about the amounts of funds which are allocated to a certain clothing-store, don't argue. Nod, smile and refer to Coco.**

 **A. The same goes for coffee-stores. (Ozpin is surprisingly active and Oobleck even more so then usual in their shared quest for the brew)**

 _Trying to take clothing stores from Coco and Coffee from Ozpin and Oobleck is liable to result in braining by handbag, a caning, or a hyperspeed lecture that you need to repeat verbally back…not necessarily in that order._

 **34\. The launch pads at the edge of the cliffs are property of Beacon, removing them for personal use is theft and the school is in no way responsible for accidents if one does.**

 **A. They are not to be used to replace stairs for those on the higher floors.**

 **B. Pplacing them underneath a chair is no joke, it is dangerous.**

 **C. Sigh, so is under a mattress.**

 _Nora got a weeks worth of detention for each one of those…it would have been more but she used it on Team CRDL…and no one had forgotten how they kept angering and attacking Ruby._

 **35\. Names and looks can be deceptive, whilst Weiss Schnee might resemble a kuudere, she is most definitely a Tsundere.**

 _Most of the time she acts like she detests Ruby…and yet she will drop kick someone in heels for the girl. Definitely a Tsundere._

 **36\. The survival of the Cutest-theory is still being researched, but yes, it makes sense.**

 **A. Yes, Ruby and Velvet might be the pinnacle of evolution in that regard.**

 **B. And no, for science is no reason to unleash the two at a bunch of grim in an arena.**

 **C. Neither is it for sending them and their team in the wild and record who shows off the most in attempt to impress the two.**

 _The teachers weren't very pleased with why Team CRDL had tricked the two teams into that mission…but it is to be noted that Coco and Blake won hands down with their performances against the Grimm. Ruby and Velvet didn't even have to raise their weapons, their teams did the work for them in an attempt to show off._ _ **(Thank you FirstoftheAbyss for the last five rules!)**_

 **37\. This is more of a warning than anything…When Team RWBY is faced with a problem…their default solution is to throw Yang at it**

 **A. It seems Team JNPR has copied this method only using Nora in Yang's place.**

 _Many couldn't tell what was worse, the fact that they actually used this method…or the fact that this method actually works._

 **38\. Do NOT toss Ruby at the enemy when she's tired, even if it makes them stop until she's fully awake**

 **A. Honestly the girl is dangerous when wide awake, do you WANT to see how dangerous she is when tired and not allowed to sleep?**

 _Yang was in detention for a month for doing this to a Team from Atlas during a practice match. The team is expected to make a full recovery in a month…the sad thing is that now no criminal tries to fight Ruby when she's obviously tired. She's THAT scary_

 **39\. Will Cinder Fall please stop trying to kidnap Ruby Rose**

 **A. It's getting to the point where Goodwitch or another professor has to stay with Ruby at all times to deter her  
** _Cinder didn't know how cute Ruby really was until she met the girl in person…she lasted two minutes before running off with the girl…and she has been trying to get Ruby to herself ever since._ **  
**

**40\. No 'borrowing' Team Leaders, it's just glorified kidnapping and we know it**

 **A. No being cute is not a good reason  
B. Neither is being cuddly**

 _Cinder claimed she was borrowing Ruby because she was cute and cuddly…we all know she was just kidnaping the girl for those reasons._

 **41\. Whoever put Ms. Rose in that Panda Costume is expected to pay for the damages and medical bills, none of the girls could stop squealing and glomping her, and none of the guys except Ren and Jaune could help but ask her out**

 **A. Yang is very understanding on her sister being cute but she will kick your ass if you try to date her.**

 **B. This also is the reason for the next few rules.  
** _No one claimed responsibility for that, but most suspected it was Emerald from Haven, the girl had been hugging Ruby the whole day after all_ **  
42\. Do NOT flirt with or ask Ruby Rose out on a date when Yang is near, she will hospitalize you**

 **A. Don't try to force yourself on Ruby either, otherwise you'll have more to worry about than just Yang**

 **B. Also don't flirt with or ask her out around Weiss and Blake, they will kick your ass then tell Yang  
** _Turns out that the three seventeen year olds were all protective of their adorable little leader._ **  
43\. Just because she's cute does not mean you can dress her up**

 **A. Coco we mean you**

 **B. Emerald and Cinder you too  
** _Coco dragged Ruby to a store in the name of dressing her up…Ruby was merely a living dress up doll both before and after Emerald and Cinder showed up._ **  
44\. Anyone who tries to force themselves on another student and is hospitalized as a result will cover their own health bill and possibly be expelled.**

 **A. Anyone who tries to force themselves on Ruby...good fucking luck surviving. We will begin digging your grave out back  
** _Let's just say that even though she was sweet and innocent, after learning that they were trying to hurt her badly from various people…Ruby herself will kick your butt before the others get to you. And she HAS been instructed to tell the nearest teacher and team when it has happened and where to find you._ **  
45\. Do not mention any variation of the word Sex and Ruby in the same sentence, you will be maimed by at least one of very many people who like her.**

 **A. If Yang catches you saying it then we will not save you, we like living**

 **B. Same for if Goodwitch, Pyrrha Nikos, Nora, or Blake hear you...and that's not all of them**

 **C. Seriously Velvet has enhanced hearing, she will hear you say it, and she adores Ruby so she will happily kick your ass and then sick the others on you after she is done  
** _Some idiots never learn apparently._ **  
46\. Please note that Ruby has never been to a sex ed class and does not understand when someone is flirting with her**

 **A. No that does not mean you can tell her about it, Goodwitch and Yang will kill you**

 **B. We did warn you CRDL, you're just lucky that the other teachers were able to pull them off of you in time  
** _Cardin and his gang tried flirting with Ruby but there was a miscommunication there when they were explaining to her what flirting was and it set off the two blond women who had been nearby._ **  
47\. Coco Adel is no longer allowed to tutor Ruby Rose, we don't need Ruby with a machine gun added to her scythe**

 **A. Dear Oum we were too late**

 **B. If you piss off Ruby then pray your Aura is strong enough to save your ass, Coco helped her add some adjustments to Crescent Rose  
** _The Grimm no longer stood even a sliver of a chance when Ruby was around_ **  
48\. She is sweet, innocent, and yes a bit childish...but pissing off Ruby Rose is a HORRIBLE idea that girl will skin you alive if she thinks you deserve it, and she'll do it with a smile on her face**

 **A. We are not going to pay your hospital Bills**

 **B. and neither will she, if she's that pissed at you she has a good reason**

 **C...Don't say you weren't warned**

 _A newbe villain tried threatening Ruby's family and made the mistake of making several insulting remarks about her mother in front of her…the end result was that she broke the man's mind and got away with just a smile and repeating what he had said about her mother_

 **49\. Do NOT complain about your parents around Team RWBY or JNPR…they will give you the chewing out of the century**

 _Lark made the mistake of complaining about his mother around the eight teens…in his defense he didn't know that Ruby's mom was dead, Yang's ran off, no one knew about Blake, Pyrrha, and Jaune's parents, Weiss's dad was an ass and no one knew about her mom or about the fact that both Nora and Ren were orphans. That ignorance didn't save him though_

 **50\. Ozpin does NOT 'ship' the students.**

 **A. Seriously, he doesn't.**

 **B... Okay, maybe he has a chart, but that's so I- HE! He can keep track of relationships in Beacon.**

 _Ruby found his chart by accident one day and wondered why it seemed like there was a line attaching her to pretty much everyone, even the foreign students, General Ironwood, and the Beacon Teachers…he was seen in the hospital half an hour later when Ruby questioned Goodwitch about it._


	3. Chapter 3

**Beacon Rules**

 **By: FunahoMisaki**

 **(A/N: I own nothing and read last chapter)**

 **51\. Stop "shipping" your teammates.**

 **A. It will happen eventually, we don't need wedding invitations yet.**

 _That and no one was sure who they wanted to pair Ruby up with, most seemed to want her for themselves…Goodwitch had increased the difficulty of the obstacle course for everyone dumb enough to voice that where she or Ruby could hear for a month._

 **52\. Do not mess with Ruby's pet Corgi, Zwei.**

 **A. Both Ruby and Weiss are protective of Zwei, and Weiss can be twice as terrifying as Yang.**

 _Russel tried getting to Ruby using her dog, not only did Zwei knock him out but when Weiss found out what happened she sent Russel to the emergency room._

 **53\. "Do not lick Neo, despite her hair color, heterochromia and name, she is not an ice cream.**

 **A. Just because she is mute does not imply consent.**

 **B. Please refer to the rule about cute things and you.**

 **C. Beacon will not cover your hospital bill if you violate this rule."**

 **D. Do not call Neo short. Ever. (She turns out to be far more worse than Weiss.)**

 _Neo stopped CRDL from attacking Ruby from behind one time, and they made the mistake of calling her short and making fun of her name…they're lucky Ruby was able to pull her off_

 **54.** **Please refrain from attempting to hack the camera's in the showers, toilets and changing rooms.**

 **A. We know.**

 **B. That is not a challenge, we seriously know.**

 _A team of fourth years thought they got away with it…Velvet overheard them bragging to each other about the pictures they took…she kicked their asses hard then informed every female in Beacon once she heard her, Coco's, and Ruby's name…especially Ruby's._

 **55.** **Do Not flirt with Jaune, or you will find out why Pyrrha is freaking scary**

 _The twins meant it in good fun…but Pyrrha didn't know that_ **  
56\. Do Not flash Jaune, painting the wall take a lot of effort**

 _Pyrrha took very little time painting the wall red when she saw Cardin flashing her team leader one day_ **  
57\. Do Not wake up Lie Ren when he still has not slept for 8 hours a day, he can be Nora's bf for reasons you don't want to know**

 _The White Fang made a very dangerous mistake when they attacked Ren when he had only two hours of sleep…no one except Nora and Ruby were able to look at Ren without paling or puking for a week after the fact._ **  
58\. Please understand that male students and teachers are not materials for gay novels,**

 **We mean it, Blake, we are NOT gay**

 **Well not all of us at least**

 _Blake had a bad habit of writing down different scenarios that could occur between the students or teachers in her notebooks when she was bored…Sun found it one day and he still can't look at her without blushing. Sun's teammate Scarlet thought it was interesting and got his boyfriend to enact some of the scenarios however_

 **59\. If you wish to play Cards Against Remnant, in addition to playing the game with doors closed, do NOT repeat what has transpired outside the room.**

 **A. There are still innocent minds that want them to stay that way**

 **B. It is to be noted that Ruby is generally confused about most of what happens during the game**

 _Ruby questioned various students about the things she heard when playing the game…Velvet and Fox were both in therapy for a week after they asked Ruby why she wanted to know and she told them about one round of the game…on the other hand Coco and a few others started joining in on the game when they weren't on missions_

 **60\. From now on Yang and other pure strength fighters must help ruby deal with her poor hand to hand fighting skills**

 _It only takes one lucky punk to get her away from her scythe…and her speed can only do so much for her_

 **61\. Ruby's Crescent Rose uses 50 cal rounds and they ARE dangerous remember that**

 _Her hand to hand skills may suck but her aim is next to none_

 **62\. Don't ask Roman about his relationship with Neo, he always changes it**

 **A. Don't ask Neo either, you won't get an answer**

 _The idea that Neo is his girlfriend, wife, lover, daughter, niece, best friend, and sister all rolled into one had quite a few students in therapy_

 **63\. Do not use laser pointers around Cat Faunus**

 _Blake alone maimed CRDL for using a laser pointer near her…Yang thought the whole thing was hilarious naturally_

 **64\. Pyrrha Nikos is no longer allowed in the computer room due to her semblance**

 _She has excellent control of it normally, but the smallest of surprises and she ends up frying the whole network by accident._

 **65\. Never keep Zwei's food away from him. The horror.**

 **A. He can fight grims head on.**

 **B. Same can be said for robots.**

 _Honestly you thought Team CRDL would have learned when they tried keeping Cookies from Ruby…their team dorm is no longer habitable_ _ **(Thank you for that one Black Ace 0)**_

 **66\. You don't want to be on the receiving end of a crescent rose 50 cal**

 _What part of bullet's plus body equals pain don't some idiots get?_ **  
67\. Don't try using a paladin mecha against team rwby**

 _Roman learned the hard way that while it may work for a few minutes, they will ultimately destroy it._ **  
68\. Don't say that you are better at killing Grimm to ruby**

 _Cardin tried that…in the time it took for him to take down three Beowolf's she took down twenty without using her semblance._ _ **(Thank you for rules 66-68 knight7572)**_

 **69.** **Mr. Arc, you are not Simon Belmont. Doctor Oobleck, you are not Indiana Jones. So could you two please get rid of those whips already!**

 **A. Dear God, what have you two done!? Run you fools! Run!  
** _The two were last seen being chased into the Emerald Forest by a nude and angry Glynda Goodwitch after they accidentally destroyed her clothes when they carelessly tried to get their lunch using their whips._ _ **(Thank you Erebus for that one)**_

 **70\. For the love of Monty don't ever give Ruby ideas or challenge her to build a giant robot we don't have anywhere to store them**

 **A. Nora we mean you!**

 **B. Damnitt Blake!**

 _Nora had the bright idea of watching Gundam Wing with Ruby and Blake…the two then challenged Ruby to build them some…on the plus side all the Grimm started fleeing once they saw the giant mecha's that housed three cackling girls_

 **71\. Do not try to put Ruby on a weight loss program!**

 **A. She NEEDS to eat a lot thanks to her semblance**

 **B. She can eat more than three times her weight in food when she isn't hungry we don't need her starving!**

 _Weiss had been annoyed at Ruby's constant eating of high calorie foods and tried to put the already scrawny girl on a weight loss program…Ruby collapsed after a day of only eating three healthy meals and it was revealed that she needed to eat a lot of high calorie foods thanks to her semblance_ _ **(Thank you for the ideas for 70 and 71 TrimusicaDrag00n90)**_

 **72\. No matter how cute she looks, don't put wolf ears on Ruby and have her do the puppy dog pout while asking for cookies, the students and teachers that saw her bought out the bakery in Vale**

 **A. Damnitt Emerald!**

 _Ruby was too adorable, especially when it seemed as if the ears would twitch or fold back when she pouted…no one stood a chance against the cuteness. Even General Ironwood was seen buying Ruby cookies and strawberries._ _ **(Thank you for that one Angel wolf11021)**_

 **73\. Yes he is a master tactician, and yes the way he pairs the students up is suspicious but he is NOT Robin from Fire Emblem**

 **A. Whoever talked Ruby into giving him the puppy dog pout so that he cosplays as Robin will spend a month in detention.**

 _He made a very convincing Robin from Fire Emblem…and Goodwitch made a fortune selling the pictures she took before she spent thirty dollars on strawberries and cookies to reward Ruby for a job well done_ _ **(Thank you for this one jmspikey)**_

 **74\. Ruby sucks at lying, don't try to make her**

 **A. The girl can't lie to save anyone else's life, much less her own don't try blaming her for anything**

 **B. She may not always tell the WHOLE truth but she can never tell a lie that will fool anyone**

 _When asked if Team CRDL was the one to destroy some of her things in revenge, Ruby did her best to deny it because she thought she deserved it…everyone could tell she was lying immediately and Team CRDL was in detention for a month and were still paying for replacements of everything they destroyed_

 **75\. DON'T MESS WITH COCO'S CLOTHS!**

 **A. We're STILL repairing most of the west wing!**

 _A group of third year girls destroyed most of her cloths to get revenge for her upstaging them in the tournament…she confronted them, kicked their collective asses, and then robbed them blind to get new cloths…the teachers that noticed what she did also knew why she did it and looked the other way._


	4. Chapter 4

**Beacon Rules**

 **By: FunahoMisaki**

 **(A/N: I own nothing and read last chapter)**

 **76\. No trying to turn Ruby evil, it's never going to work,**

 **A. Besides, she basically rules the school already, if she wants the world she'll get that as well. Cinder we're looking at you.**

 _Cinder tried turning Ruby evil once…the girl had been confused and when questioning the other students she was told that she could take over the world with just a pout._

 **77\. Challenging Ruby and Oobleck to a race was a horrible idea, and you will pay for the damages.**

 **A. On a related note the Emerald Forest is not useable as a training ground for the next 3 months, or at least not until we can get the giant lines of destruction made from two super-sonic objects going through it and taking everything with them.**

 _On the bad side, the Emerald Forest was pretty much destroyed, on the good side so were all the Grimm in it!_

 **78\. No Cinder, the Ice Cream girl cannot come in, cannot steal Ruby for you and cannot distract Yang while you attempt to seduce Ruby.**

 **A. Why would you think that would work anyways? We've already said Ruby has never had Sex ed.**

 _Cinder promptly face palmed when she remembered that Ruby didn't know what flirting or seduction was…she had to run for her life when Ruby had asked Coco and Yatsuhashi why Cinder was trying to get into her pants, since that is what Team CRDL described it as._ _ **(Thank you nahte123456 for numbers 76 through 78)**_

 **79\. No daring Ruby to make ANYTHING from ANY Anime, she will most likely find away to build it or add it on to Crescent Rose...**

 **A. Grimm Damnitt Nora!**

 _Ruby is a mechanical genius…and she has a fascination with things that cause lots of property damage or goes boom…let's just say that no one could figure out how she managed to make a machine that channels into making invisible Vectors…all that after only two episodes of Elfin Lied._

 **80\. Alright who gave Ruby a Beowulf pup?**

 _No one was sure which was more surprising, the fact that she got permission to keep it…or the fact that she managed to tame it…on second thought the taming it bit was more surprising. Her puppy dog pout will make anyone agree to anything, even giving her permission to keeping a Beowulf pup._ _ **Thank you for 79 and 80 Moony and Sunny**_

 **81\. If Port asks you to help him capture Grimm say no**

 **A. Honestly we have enough chaos around here we don't need Grimm in the school…Ruby's pet Beowulf not counting**

 _Ruby agreed to help him capture some Grimm once…they bought back fourteen Beowolves, ten Ursa, three Nevermore's, twenty Boarbatusks…and Ruby got to keep her new pet DeathStalker. How that fit into the school no one will ever know but many blame Nora for it…she never took offense_

 **82\. Forever Fall is for training and some missions, not to collect and sell maple syrup.**

 **A. Nora I'm looking at you**

 _Nora had the bright idea of collecting and selling the syrup from the trees in Forever Fall once…she made over a thousand lien before the teachers found out…they only found out because the syrup attracted Ursa by the handfuls._

 **83\. Don't throw Red Sap at your friends! That stuff attracts Grimm!**

 **A. It also may lead to you being attacked by a hungry Nora**

 _Team CRDL were playing catch with it and when it broke on Cardin's armor he was attacked by Nora who had not had breakfast that morning because she woke up late…He was in therapy for a year_

 **84\. I don't care how effective it is! You're weapons are not 'Skeleton Keys' stop using them as such**

 **A…That weird Sora boy from Vacou is allowed to because his weapon IS a key!**

 _Lots of students just broke the door instead of opening it…the Beacon budget couldn't handle many more of those_

 **85\. Unless you're Jaune Arc or Lie Ren, male students are NOT allowed to cross dress**

 **A. Because all of you aside from those two look like idiots in dresses or skirts.**

 **B. This does not mean that the girls or other guys can make the two boys Cross Dress all the time.**

 _Beacon had a cross dresser's ball…all the boys except Jaune and Ren looked like uncomfortable idiots and felt like it too…on the other hand Ruby looked quite cute in the tuxedo Ren lent her_

 **86\. Don't try to one up the food fight between Team JNPR and Team RWBY it won't work**

 **A. We don't care if it's just snow, it won't be as awesome as they were**

 _A LOT of students tried one upping the Food Fight of the Millennium…none succeeded and Goodwitch had a record number of students in detention_

 **87\. Do not call Weiss 'flat' or 'underdeveloped'. Ever. She will kick your ass, REALLY hard.**

 **A. Especially around her team. Only Yang can tease her, in a not harsh way.  
** _One guy from Haven made the mistake of calling Weiss flat where she could hear…it took ten fourth years and two teachers to restrain her…another boy mentioned it around her team…it took all the fourth and third years as well as all the teachers to restrain not just Weiss but her three teammates as well. Even Ruby could tell it was an insult of some sort._

 **88\. Do not say either Blake or Yang are fat in 'certain areas'. It's a REALLY bad idea.**

 _Several thugs were talking about their bodies…the two girls misheard what they said and it took half of Beacon to hold the two back_

 **89\. Do not say to Blake "you got a nice butt", "nice booty", "you got a big butt", or any other reference to her butt. We warned you.**

 **A. Especially around her team. Only Yang can tease Blake.**

 _Team CRDL learned that the hard way…they now had their own rooms in the hospital and Med-bay…three of the girls were in detention, Ruby just pouted because she thought she was doing the right thing in defending her friend and got off scot free_ _ **Thank you for numbers 86 to 89 New Universe Returns**_

 **90\. Do NOT question Velvet and Coco's relationship**

 **A. Velvet doesn't know she's been claimed by the fashionista…and Coco is very protective and possessive of her bunny**

 _Yang questioned what Velvet and Coco were to each other once…she was so confused by the end of it that she had a migraine._

 **91\. Oh for the love of Monty! Don't give Blake Catnip**

 **A. Yang, Nora we mean you!**

 _In an attempt to make Blake lighten up some Yang slipped her some catnip…the results were hilarious but once she found out what happened Blake sent Yang to the hospital and then locked herself in the dorm for two hours._

 **92\. No matter how much it might amuse/relieve everyone Don't lock Jaune and Pyrrha into a closet**

 **A. Damnitt Emerald!**

 _To be fair…everyone was tired of the two dancing around each other but Jaune was too terrified to try anything with Pyrrha…Pyrrha was too insecure to do anything with Jaune unless he made the first move. It didn't stop several students and teachers from thanking Emerald though_ _ **Thank you for 90 to 92 Angel wolf11021**_

 **93\. I don't care if they gave you permission, don't go through other peoples things.**

 **A. Velvet is still in therapy after going through Blake's bookcase when looking for the Cat Faunus's spare history book**

 _In Blake's defense, at least she had the forethought to hide her Ninja's of Love books…the bad thing is that she disguised them as school books_

 **94\. Do NOT give Jaune Arc alcohol!**

 _Not only were his parents and siblings pissed at Team CRDL for spiking Jaune's soda…but Jaune was very scary when drunk_ _ **Thank you for this one, Shadowangelknight**_

 **95\. If a room is damaged then alert a teacher, don't try to fix it yourself**

 **A. Especially if you are attempting to fix it using your weapons**

 _Nora tried fixing the ball room as a favor to Team CFVY once…while using her hammer…_

 **96\. Don't approach Nora when holding a watermelon**

 **A. Because the end result is the entire area looking like a crime scene**

 _To be fair Ruby was just being nice when she offered some to Nora…Nora went nuts all on her own…well nuttier than usual that is_

 **97\. Yang is no longer allowed to sing**

 **A. She makes the ears of every Faunus and half the humans within hearing distance of her bleed**

 _Yang is a terrible singer…she only stopped trying to sing when Ruby mentioned her ears bleeding after listening to her sister sing. While she may not care for many people…never let it be said that Yang doesn't care about her baby sister_

 **98\. Don't mess with anyone shorter than five feet, they will kick your ass**

 **A. This includes Weiss, Ruby, and Neo**

 **B. Damnitt Yang you were warned!**

 _Yang made the mistake of going too far in her teasing of Weiss one day…she was frozen solid for a full minute before her semblance melted the ice and Weiss says that Yang got off easy because she was the heiress's teammate._

 **99\. If you see Rose Petals on the floor after lunch…please move to the side of the halls away from the petals**

 **A. Ruby constantly forgets her books in the cafeteria and she has Oobleck's after lunch, you were warned**

 _Most people, thankfully, were smart enough to already know to stay out of the path…Mercury and Team CRDL weren't most people._

 **100\. Please do not try and change the lunch menu**

 **A. Nora was made to cook one day in detention…Port was no longer allowed to assign her detentions without the approval of two other staff members**

 _Nora didn't realize that not everyone could handle her levels of sugar intake…while it didn't effect Ruby or those with semblances relating to fire or that effect their metabolism…more than half of Beacon's staff and students were in sugar coma's for at least a week._ **  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**Beacon Rules**

 **By: FunahoMisaki**

 **(A/N: I own nothing and read last chapter)**

 **101\. Don't ever mention Summer Rose when around Ruby**

 _If she doesn't go nuts and demand what you know before kicking your ass, she will break down sobbing and you'll have to deal with all her protective friends._

 **102\. Someone get Qrow off the alcohol**

 **A. It's to the point where he get drunk enough to flirt with everyone over the age of 18, this needs to stop**

 _To his credit he was the best spy and a heck of a huntsman…he was a horrible flirt when drunk though._

 **103\. Only Ruby Rose and May Zeodong can be snipers against Grimm**

 _Granted there are a few others who are great shots…Ruby and May happen to be the best though_

 **104\. Someone tell Raven her parenting style needs work**

 _Honestly the woman abandoned her infant daughter and took off without another word, granted she did show up once and save Yang's life…but no one's heard from her since_ _ **Thank you for numbers 101 to 104 knight7572**_

 **105\. Never leave tools laying around, Zwei can and will make a weapon out of it.**

 **A. If he doesn't use them himself he will take them to Ruby who will make a weapon out of them**

 _Several people were confused when they left out some tools and they went missing…well until Zwei showed off the cannon he somehow made and attached to his back…_ _ **Thank you for that one Black Ace 0**_

 **106\. Do NOT put the volumes of the TVs in your dorm at max**

 **A. Nora you're paying for the damages**

 _Ruby went to turn on a cartoon and the windows were promptly blown out._

 **107\. Unless she gives you permission, don't touch Blake's bow**

 _Yang tried stealing Blake's bow once as a joke and was strung up by Gambol Shroud's ribbon…Ruby however was allowed to touch, pet, and scratch Blake's bow_

 **108\. It is now protocol to have life preservers in the dorm rooms**

 **A. Blame Nora**

 _No one found out HOW she managed to flood the entire east wing of the school…no one was too happy with her though_

 **109\. Nora is no longer allowed to have more than 12 ounces of Syrup near her at any time, and she is no longer allowed to own a fluid container over 5 gallons.**

 _Where she got all that Syrup from, no one knew, How she got that tanker on the school roof without anyone seeing no one WANTED to know…_

 **110\. No one is allowed to use hypnosis on Jaune Arc anymore**

 **A. When we find out who did they will be in trouble with the whole world**

 _No one knew who did it but by using hypnosis on Jaune they caused him to have several different personalities, the main one was a megalomaniac psychopath that took over three of the four kingdoms before we could return him to normal_

 **111\. No Ozpin's and Ooblecks coffee's do NOT contain whiskey or alcohol of any type, it's just plain black coffee**

 _To be fair…the third year boy did see an amber liquid in a glass on the desk in the headmasters office…he simply didn't know it belonged to Qrow_

 **112\. If you see Team RWBY battling the White Fang, do NOT ignore it! Help Them**

 **A. Look at it this way if you ignore them fighting people who have no problem kidnaping, raping, or killing innocent people…what do you think they'd do to Ruby if they won the fight?**

 _How no one seemed to care about four students fighting against people that had no problem killing children no one will ever know…on the good side though, after this rule went up Ruby never went into a fight alone or with only her team as backup ever again. Apparently the implications of what could have happened while she was kidnapped by the Fang struck a little too close to home for most of Vale and some of the foreign students._

 **113\. Faunus are NOT furries, stop saying such things**

 **A. You'd better pray that they don't hear you saying that…or their teammates…and especially their significant others**

 _Team CRDL were joking about Velvet being a furry…Coco overheard them and showed them the difference between a second year and a first year._

 **114.** **Do NOT replace Nora's syrup with sugar free syrup.**

 **A. That means you Weiss.**

 **B. I mean it**.

 _Weiss tried to make Nora less hyper by switching her syrup for the sugar free variety…apparently Nora was even MORE hyper when she DIDN'T have sugar_ _ **Thank you for that one Kyuubi-kun45**_

 **115\. For the love of Monty don't open Velvet's box!**

 **A. What's inside is completely terrifying!**

 _Curious and spiteful, Dove took a look in Velvet's box when she set it down to go grab something one day…his hair is now snow white from fear and he will be in therapy for at least two years…he also cannot sleep for two weeks…and has not been able to tell what's in the box_

 **116\. Oh for the love of! Don't harass Team JNPR or else broken legs will be the least of your worries!**

 **A. And no it wouldn't be Nora doing the breaking**

 **B. Nor will it be Pyrrha**

 _Turns out that the two males of Team JNPR did not appreciate their female teammates being harassed…CRDL is expected to recover in three months_

 **117\. This is for the Staff of Beacon…if you see, suspect, or know something is wrong…don't ignore it**

 **A. This counts for bullying, we all know you're as sick of CRDL's shit as everyone else**

 _To be fair Oobleck went by too fast to notice it…Port was too busy talking about his past to notice, and Goodwitch was too busy normally, but when they did notice…detention was the least of CRDL's problems_

 **118\. Please note this is a FIGHTING school! We aren't here to coddle you we're here to toughen you up for the real world**

 **A. This means we can drop you off of the cliff without filing a single piece of paperwork**

 **B. The only reason that the teachers don't get involved in student conflicts usually is because the students are expected to stick up for themselves…or at least report it**

 **C. This also means that the teachers can do anything to the students up to crippling physical assault.**

 _Cardin tried raising a stink about how the teachers handled his bullying issues…he was literally laughed at by all the officials he tried complaining to_

 **119.** **If Ruby goes supersonic near you watch out for the shockwave**

 _Ruby didn't realize the destruction and damages her supersonic shockwaves could cause until Goodwitch sat her down and explained it to her she had been too scared to use her semblance for three days afterwards._

 **120.** **Never let Ruby watch Star Wars. We do not need a DEATHSTAR. Regardless is size.**

 **A. NORA!**

 _Nora showed Ruby Star Wars…Ruby was missing for a week before unveiling her newest creation. How she hid that Deathstar from everyone we have no clue_

 **121.** **Never leave your weapon laying around. We do not need any more WMD**

 **A. That means you Ruby**

 **B. We don't want to** _ **think**_ **about what she could add to anyone's weapon.**

 _To be fair Jaune was due for a weapon upgrade…and his swords new abilities keep Cardin from bullying him again_ _ **Thank you Black Ace 0 for 120 and 121**_

 **122\. Putting Nora and Port alone in the same room and asking them both the best way to kill grim is forbidden.**

 **A. Some of the students that listened to them are still in therapy.  
** _The scary thing about this was that Ruby was seen taking NOTES about the different ways._ **  
123\. Do not try to get Ruby to cosplay, depending on the character it's either too adorable to maintain free will or too terrifying to move.**

 **A. Also Mercury, the bunny costume was just stupid and ill advised, the rest of team RWBY didn't even get to you yet after they heard about it, your three team mates already did.  
** _Ruby made an adorably bunny girl…but the skimpy outfit had most of the students suffering from blood loss Velvet had been torn between passing out from nosebleed and being jealous. She believed Ruby made a better bunny than she did…Mercury was in a coma for three months before his three teammates were done_ **  
124\. Don't ask Penny if she's a robot, we all know she is, but she's not allowed to say she is, so she has to lie, which makes her hiccup, and if she does it too much she can't stop for hours.**

 _After Ruby found out that Penny had started to cry because she couldn't control her hiccups (and who made a robot able to cry?) she did...something to the team of third years. we're not sure what, just that there's a bit of blood where they were last seen, and that people claim to have heard there screams coming from what's left of Emerald Forest...before they got cut off, one by one_ _ **Thank you for numbers 122 to 124**_

 **125\. Do not fight Qrow, under any circumstances not only is he a veteran Badass, but he is also a god with a Scythe.**

 **A. He taught Ruby, and although some may not know that DO NO ENGAGE**

 **C. SERIOUSLY DO NOT IF HE IS DRUNK RUNNNNN**

 _Winter once challenged Qrow to a rematch in a Beacon arena, we never got to see how it would end because Qrow was practically owning Winter and Ruby yelled at him for being mean so he stopped_ _ **thank you for number 125 NothingExistence**_

 _ **I normally stop here but there were so many new rules being sent to me I had to keep going!**_

 **126\. Due to reasons, Pyrrha Nikos and Penny Polendina are not allowed to fight, even for training purposes.**

 **A. Trust us, it's for the best.**

 **B. General Ironwood runs a whole military, remember?**

 _Metal vs. Polarity…on the upside Penny enjoyed flying…downside Ironwood had the idiot who arranged the fight arrested_ **  
127\. Don't insult or hate on Neptune Vasillias around his team.**

 **Seriously, he's a cool guy and Team SSSN doesn't take kindly to people talking smack about their teammates.**

 **B. Don't let Weiss hear you either; she'll do worse things to you than Team SSSN.  
** _One jealous idiot hated on him around Team SSSN and Team RWBY… he's expected to recover in three years_

 **128\. While we acknowledge how adorable and hilarious it is, do not keep asking Penny to go buy underwear.**

 **A. Remember that military General Ironwood is in charge of? He'll use it.  
** _One fourth year thought it was funny…she's facing a military trial in Atlas now_ **  
129\. Stop releasing mice into Team RWBY's dorm room. It's bad enough Ruby has her own pet Grimm, we don't need them agitated.**

 **A. We take no responsibility for the repair bills as the result of said agitation.**

 **B. Blake doesn't appreciate you doing this either.**

 _Blake had fun chasing them for an hour till the Grimm Ruby tamed ate them…then hunted down the idiots who did it…Ruby named her Pet Beowolf Sniffler for a reason…and her DeathStalker was named Biter for a reason as well_

 **130\. Stop giving Penny magnets just to see what happens.**

 **A. General Ironwood. Entire military. Just saying**

 _That particular idiot was beaten to a pulp by Ironwood…and the arrested and standing military trial in Atlas…after the rest of the military got done with him…Penny was almost as well liked amongst the Atlas Military as Ruby was liked by Beacon…it is to be noted that Ruby beat up the idiot first since Penny is her friend._

 _ **Thank you for number 126 to 130 The Layman!**_

 **131.** **FOR THE LOVE OF MONTY DO NOT TEACH MAGIC AND THE TRACE ON ABILITY TO RUBY.**

 **A. We do not need her to be able to wield all our weapons, no matter how epic it would be.**

 **B. Damn you, KISCHUR ZELRETCH SCHWEINORG**

 _On the upside, Ruby got better with all sorts of weapons and hand to hand combat…on the down side…she added several new things to Crescent Rose_ _ **Thank you for hat one Black Ace 0**_

 **132.** **You do not give Ruby any ideas to make gear from any video games at all we are still recovering from the damages that we got from her making a metal gear.**

 **A. OK who told Ruby to make the transforming mask from the legend of Zelda and have her wear them on different days?**

 **B. We're going to have all teachers watch her 24/7 so we can stop her from making more of them plus who knew that female Goron is cute and Jaune, Nora and Yang we know you three have a hand in this.**

 _Ruby had literally been moved into the staff wing and is now sharing a dorm room with Goodwitch and Professor Peach so that she couldn't sneak off and make more._ _ **Thank you for this one**_ __ _ **TrimusicaDrag00n90**_

 **133.** **Never Ruby give any manga with giant robot, mecha, magical, hi-teach, futuristic, weapons she add them to her Crescent Rose we mean you Blake.**

 _Okay how she thought it was a good idea to give Ruby a manga about ALCHEMY we'll never know…although she claims that she thought Ruby couldn't replicate it…even if she couldn't replicate the Alchemy, which she somehow COULD, she was very good at replicating the weapons in the manga no matter how standard they seemed…on the upside she now had an animated suit of armor to help protect her._

 **134\. Now that that's out of the way who ever gave Ruby High School dxd will pay for all damages to the school and the girls cloths now that Ruby somehow made Crescent Rose a sacred gear with a Dragon equal to the Boost gear and Divine dividing dragons that is shadow type that eat like Ruby plus her Issie like new personality.**

 _On the upside, the Grimm population around Vale was at a record breaking low…downside…so was food_

 **134\. Don't show Ruby any horror movies!**

 **A. If it doesn't scare her it'll give her ideas!**

 **B. Damnitt Cardin that wasn't a challenge!**

 _Cardin showed her the Child's Play movies…she vanished for a day with her animated armor and ended up making several Chucky dolls that she released on the Grimm…most of the school had seen those movies and prayed Ruby could keep them under control…Even Ozpin was scared of those things._

 _ **Thank you for 133 and 134 TrimusicaDrag00n90**_

 **135.** **Due to Ruby Rose allying to Cinder Fall recently, it is highly advised you NEVER piss her off she now has a Maiden protecting her along with the rest of Beacon Academy.**

 **A. Team CRDL are currently in a coma for a long ass time.  
** _Honestly she might not have all the powers of the Fall Maiden but she has a good bit and knows how to use them…and she adores Ruby…Ozpin almost felt bad for whoever tried attacking or insulting Ruby around Cinder…Almost._ **  
136\. Ruby under no circumstances will date you. She is very picky about who can even talk to her recently- we're looking at you CRDL  
** _They kept trying to get her to date them…they didn't know that Goodwitch and Yang both gave her a list of people she was allowed to talk too…CRDL wasn't on the list and Ruby was NOT in a good mood that day_ **  
137\. JUNIOR FOR PETES SAKE STOP TRYING TO GET RUBY DRUNK SHE'S FIFTEEN. EVEN CINDER WANTS YOUR ASS FOR THIS  
** _In Ruby's defense she didn't know that the drink was alcoholic when she took it back to Beacon to drink later…Yang took one sniff of it, asked where she got it from, then went to inform Goodwitch she would be gone for a week and why…most of Beacon were hunting Junior down now._ **  
138\. Roman Torchwick, Flirting with Ruby is not a good idea if you value your position. Cinder will abruptly throw you to the curb.  
** _He tried using his 'charms' to woo her to his side…the seats of his pants were on fire the minute the first flirtatious remark left his lips and Cinder gave him a very clear threat of what she'd do to him if he kept flirting with Ruby._ **  
139\. Never tell Mercury and Weiss they should stop seeing each other. It won't end well. Ditto goes for Cardin and Emerald. Neo and Torchwick are also almost under this rule.  
** _Well…opposites attract and all that…and most of the time the people in the couples were very possessive of their opposites._ **  
140\. RUBY ROSE IS NOT INTERESTED IN ANYONE RIGHT NOW THANK YOU!**

 **A. For the last time she is fifteen. Cinder and Goodwitch are still beating the shit out of Cardin for asking her out.  
** _Never let it be said that even Criminals don't have morals…a seventeen year old bigoted bully asking out a fifteen year old bleeding heart heroine…yeah most of the Criminal underworld in Vale were waiting for their chance to beat Cardin, even the White Fang loved Ruby by now_ **  
141\. Never call Neo Short. EVER if you value your life**

 **A. Cardin and his team are now in intensive therapy because she raped them.  
** _Ruby who had seen the whole thing was confused on why Neo kept shoving her parasol in that hole of theirs…and then replaced her parasol with the boys own weapons_ **  
142\. Never tease Weiss or Ruby when Mercury and Cinder are around.**

 **A. There will be burns, air strikes, kicks, and flesh wounds. Team CRDL didn't survive the attack and are currently hospitalized for months.**

 _Honestly we're surprised that those boys haven't been killed yet. Cinder certainly came close to crossing that line, she probably would have burned them alive if Ruby hadn't been right there._ _ **Thank you for numbers 135 to 142 Anastasia Fall**_

 **143.** **It is now forbidden for any students to talk about, reference or show Ruby any sort of video or computer games, especially anything Sci-fi or military related.**

 **A. CRDL, there are safer ways to apologize and make friends with Ruby.**

 **B. The effort was appreciated nonetheless. And the end result was worth it. (In your face Ironwood)**

 **C.** _ **OZPIN!**_ **  
** _Cardin and the rest of team CRDL finally got the message of not to mess with Ruby on any level, unfortunately they thought the best way to reconcile with her was to invite her to their weekly game night. Things went south when Cardin showed Ruby the Fallout series and the Command and Conquer Series. For the next few weeks afterwards Beacon and Vale was in chaos as a Liberty Prime, various Fallout power armors and weaponry along with entire vehicle roster of C &C, Ruby's personal favorite being the Nod Redeemer walker were tested in and around Vale. While the academy and the city suffered some damage, most of the Emerald forest and Forever Falls have been destroyed, along with the nearby forest around Vale, due to the testing of the vehicles. On a higher note is the fact that most of the Grimm and White Fang that were present in those areas were wiped out. In addition, Vale is now the most heavily armed and technologically advanced nation in Remnant…Ozpin still loved rubbing that fact into Ironwoods face, especially when he first saw the inventions and almost literally begged Ruby to come work for him…Ozpin caught the whole thing on video and it's now on RemTube __**Thank you for this one Masterix**_

 **144\. Ruby Rose is not allowed to cook for free, her food is too good to insult her like that**

 **A. Anyone who keeps Ruby from cooking whenever she wants will be in detention for the rest of their time at Beacon…and hospitalized**

 _Ruby cooked once for Teams RWBY, JNPR, CFVY and ABRN…after thinking about it she started making treats to thank the teachers and other students for protecting her…If she ever stops being a Huntress she'll be the most protected and popular baker in Vale._

 **145\. Do NOT get in the way of Nora's pancakes…if you think Ruby will kick your ass for cookies you've seen nothing yet**

 **A. And usually Ruby will help her, especially if they're strawberry or chocolate chip pancakes**

 _Team NDGO tried getting in the way once…they were still traumatized and in the hospital._

 **146\. Do NOT give Ruby sugary sodas**

 **A. Dear Dust we're doomed**

 _If you think her semblance makes her fast normally…hyper Ruby…dear Oum…on the upside most of the Grimm started RUNNING from her now._

 **147\. Do NOT suggest Ruby make and attach cybernetic Fox ears and tails to herself**

 _Russel suggested it as a joke…Ruby took it seriously and the end result had the White Fang and even the Grimm dying from cuteness, much less the rest of the world._

 **148\. Don't spike the coffee with alcohol…you don't want to see Ozpin, Oobleck, and Coco drunk trust us**

 _Lark did it on a dare…a drunk Coco had kidnapped Velvet for a few hours, a drunk Oobleck was even faster and more random than a sober one, and a drunk Ozpin…_

 **149\. Do not ask about Yang and Blake's relationship, even Yang is confused about it**

 **A. This means you can't lock them in a closet either**

 _To be fair Cats like warm things and Yang IS the Dragon of Patch for a reason…Nora was in detention for a week for locking them in the closet though._

 **150\. Do NOT take away Ruby's cookies it will both make her cry and piss her off**

 **A. Please go back and read the rule about making Ruby cry**

 _Thinking she had eaten enough of them, Bolin from Team ABRN had taken away the rest of Ruby's cookies…Ruby knocked him through three walls and was crying…Bolin's expected to recover in about…ten years…_ _ **Thank you for rules 144 to 150 Angel wolf11021**_


	6. Chapter 6

**Beacon Rules**

 **By: FunahoMisaki**

 **(A/N: I own nothing and read last chapter)**

 **151.** **While Yang and Blake's relationship is complicated it should be advise to not ask either of them out just in case, especially Blake  
** _A second year student once tried to ask Blake out and when Yang found out she punched him 500 miles from Vale, we are still trying to locate him._

 _._ _ **Thank you for this one dfinkel70**_

 **152.** **The baby Ursa walking around is not to be killed. Nora sleeps with it... trying to kill it is on your own head...**

 _Thinking it was wild, two fourth years went to kill it…Nora sent then about 100 miles from Vale without her weapon_

 _ **Thank you SimplyRV for this one**_

 **153.** **Someone tell ironwood that the wreckage of a paladin mecha is under the vale roadway and needs collecting**

 _Ozpin was of the firm opinion that since it was his invention, the mess was his to clean up_

 **154\. Could someone please find and get rid of the computer virus that Cinder put in the CCT system?**

 _She may have forgotten about it by being caught up in all of the chaos around here…but Ozpin and Ironwood haven't._ **  
155\. Someone teach Ruby how to dance**

 **Correction. Someone RESPONSIBLE teach Ruby how to dance**

 _She never took a dance class before but she's very graceful when she wants to be using her scythe…Yang and several others style of dancing is not to be taught to her._ **  
156\. To the bad guys never mess with team RWBY**

 _Some no name villain tried making a name for themselves attacking Team RWBY…Yang kicked his ass on her own…and that's before they let their friends know what he tried to do_

 _ **Thank you for numbers 153 to 156 knight7572**_

 **157\. For the love of Oum, do NOT ask Ruby, Weiss or Nora to time travel.**

 **A. We're looking at you Torchwick, Cinder.**

 **B. GRIMM DAMMIT YANG!** __

 _No one knew HOW they built the time machine…many suspected that Ruby built it, Nora powered it, and Weiss funded it…but they had no proof…on the upside Ruby and Nora got to actually meet their mothers and Weiss got Winter to loosen up some with Ruby and Nora's help_

 _ **Thank you for this one, Kyuubi-kun45**_

 **158\. Stop trying to confuse Penny with impossible logic puzzles.**

 **A. Has it not sunk in yet about Ironwood and the military he runs?  
** _Honestly you'd think they learned by now._ **  
159\. Stop kicking Scarlet David in the nuts.**

 **A. Yes it was funny the first time, but that doesn't mean he wants to relive the experience on an hourly basis.**

 **B. Besides, only Sun is allowed to do that. And only occasionally.  
** _NDGO thought it was fun and proper revenge for the way they lost in the tournament…most of Team SSSN, and their friends in Teams RWBY and JNPR taught them different._ **  
160\. Stop trying to convince Penny that adult toys are "upgrades".**

 **A. You were warned.**

 **B. May God have mercy on your soul.**

 _Ruby and Ironwood will not. Enough said_

 _ **Thank you for numbers 158 to 160 The Lawman**_

 **161.** **Ruby shouldn't be allowed to make any more of the screaming death cans**

 **A. I don't care how effective they are against Grimm those things creep me out!**

 _Ozpin was terrified of those things for reasons he wouldn't share._

 **162\. Whoever showed Ruby that Doctor Who show is in big trouble.**

 **A. She built most of the gadgets on it including the freaking TARDIS!**

 _Do we reallllllllly need to explain this one? Think. Speedy, innocent, naïve, and bad ass Ruby who can worm her way into anyone's heart without trying… able to travel across space and time._

 _ **Thank you for those two Xenolis**_

 **163\. Do NOT ship Ruby and Yang's father with Qrow because it will end with not only the two guys beating the crap out of them, but Ruby, Yang, and (surprisingly) Glynda too.**

 _The sick jerk who suggested was hospitalized and then slammed with detention, not necessarily in that order_ _ **Thank you for that one Elements1999**_

 **164.** **Don't tell Sun to put a shirt on**

 _His fangirls were PISSED when that one guy made Sun wear a shirt for one day_

 _ **Thank you for that one Anarken Mad Bancho King**_

 **165\. Despite the undeniable effectiveness of the group / tactic, you are not to collect the forbidden combinations of the list, and deploy them against undesirable forces. The simulations are still trying to figure out what the aftermath would be.**

 _Ruby thought it would be fun to see what the end result of several combinations of the forbidden items she made would be…she did it two months ago and the simulations still aren't done which means it would NOT be good. This made the teachers pale and Ozpin literally begged Ruby on hands and knees to never use those combinations in real life…the video of it is on RemTube now even though she insists he only needed to ask, not beg._

 _ **Thank you for this one Archangel N. Bloodraven**_

 **166.** **Never say to Blake (within hearing distance) "here kitty kitty kitty".**

 _Mercury did it as a joke…he had to get new mechanical legs_ **  
167\. Never take away Blake's tuna.**

 **The results will be close to taking Ruby's cookies**

 _To be fair Dove didn't know that the tuna was Blake's, he thought it was for Ruby and remembered that she was allergic to fish…despite having good intentions he wasn't spared._ **  
168\. Never sing to Yang "We didn't start the fire" by Billy Joel or fire work by Katy Parry**

 _She WILL start the fire…using you as kindling. Russel didn't see her approaching though…and she didn't know he was singing along to his Scroll_ **  
169\. Do not comment on Yang turning the heat down - she just wants to cuddle with Blake**

 _Weiss remarked on it because she thought it was strange…Yang glared her into silence. Ruby alternates between JNPRs' ABRNs' CFVYs' and Cinders team dorm to escape the cold._ **  
170\. Do not let Ruby watch Shrek or "Pus in boots" it will only give her ideas.**

 _No one could tell what was worse, the fact that she went out and got a kitten that could get along with her other pets…or the fact that she taught the kitten to steal and fight with a small rapier she made._ **  
171\. never under any circumstances should team RWBY or JNPR watch Fairy Tail**

 **They managed the impossible and duplicated effects (ruby or Pyrrha mimicking Erza, Yang Natsu, Nora mimicking Laxus (lighting)**

 _To be fair CRDL was just trying to get along with them…they had no idea the horror they had unleashed._ **  
172\. Never ask Nora where Thor or the avengers are (or if you watch lost girl, Bo)**

 _She saw the movie once and thought Thor was her dad, which was understandable, who had abandoned her. She spent a week looking for them and gets upset when someone asks_ **  
173\. Do not ask Jaune if he smells something burning.**

 **He will kick your butt for the slight against his ancestor (or maybe he is reincarnated)**

 _In Russel's defense Cinder had lit someone on fire nearby and he didn't know about Jaune's ancestor…didn't save him though_

 _ **Thank you for numbers 166 to 173 manticore-gurl071134**_

 **174\. Do not let Ruby make an army mini robots that have her likeness.**

 **A. No one can stop something so cute**

 _To be fair now there weren't all that many complaints on the other teams hogging the little scythe wielder._

 _ **Thank you for that one ultima-owner**_

 **175\. Do not insult Weiss where her big sister Winter is present, you will regret it**

 _Cardin called her Ice Queen as a greeting when he saw her hanging out with her sister…not knowing that it was pretty much Weiss's title amongst…everyone really, Winter nearly sent him to the morgue_

 _ **Thank you for this one Sakurako Nagasaki**_

 **176\. Due to the recent string of team RWBY allying with Cinder Fall it is ill Advised to try and get them to talk to you unless you're JNPR, ABRN, OR CFVY.**

 **A. Especially not you CRDL. Emerald and Mercury and Neo will promptly show you what it means to feel pain if you break this rule.  
** _Cardin couldn't run fast enough to avoid mercury's kicks.. poor soul is now in the hospital wing._ _again_ ****

 **177\. Weiss and Mercury are Dating yes. But that does not mean you can tease them about it, you will get a Glyph to the face and an abrupt kick to the genitals[if a guy], or the face [if a girl]**

 _Cardin and his team weren't the victims this time. Neo decided to make fun of the two, and she is now expected to be out of the Atlas Infirmary in about a week._ ****

 **178\. Be Advised Emerald and Alcohol don't mix.**

 **A. She stole everybody's weapons in a blur, even Sun's banana**

 **B. She also stole Blake's Clothes. Blake is still looking for her ninjas of love book  
** _The only one's whose weapons she didn't steal were Mercury, Cinder, and Ruby…that didn't stop her from stealing Ruby though._

 **179\. When in Junior's club do NOT hit on Melanie and Melitia. They will claw your face off or kick you where the sun don't shine.  
** _I pity poor sun right now… he will never have children_ **.**

 **180\. Cardin, Melanie and Militia ARE NOT STRIPPERS. stop throwing money at them when you're at the club and asking them to strip.  
** _He was almost spared when he told them he thought they were too pretty to be working there…almost._ **  
181\. Be advised Cinder has given Ruby the other half of the Fall Maiden Powers. The two have currently formed a Duo to take over Remnant. Do not Engage**

 **A. Seriously don't- Ruby will slice you to pieces and that's before Cinder gets to you  
** _Surprisingly team CRDL tried to be the heroes for once. Dove is now dead and Cardin is looking for a new teammate._ **  
182\. Yang and Junior have been seen dating recently. Never on any circumstances ask if they are because it'll get you hit by a rocket launcher or by Yangs Ember Cecelia so hard you combust.  
** _Unfortunatly Fox didn't get the memo. he was abruptly shot and punched and is now in the hospital wing._ **  
183\. Neo is a rapist. Stop Encouraging her. THAT MEANS YOU TEAM CRDL  
** _Neo recently tried to rape Ozpin. The result was cinder now owning the school. Be advised cinder is more strict then Goodwitch. On the bright side, Ruby is protected._ **  
184\. Due to the recent string of Dust explosions in the chem lab, Weiss and Cinder are not allowed to be lab partners.  
** _This is the 5th time the lab exploded they are still repairing the damages._ **  
185\. An addition to the above rule- Weiss and Any fire using student cannot be partners.  
** _After banned from partnering with Cinder Weiss was stuck with Yang…the result is another explosion._ **  
186\. Roman Torchwick and I Are Not an Item. You say we are, I will burn you to a crisp.~ Cinder Fall  
** _Poor Russel decided to say this very statement that they were an item…he abruptly got lit on fire and shot at by 50,000 Crescent Rose bullets._ **  
187\. Cinder and Ruby are officially dating. Cinder never lets anyone but trusted people [Teams JNPR, CFVY, AND ABRN as well as the rest of team RWNY, Goodwitch and Ozpin] around Ruby.  
** _Cardin is having trouble these days picking on Ruby, because he's been threatened with Expulsion._ **  
188\. Please stop trying to one up the food fight at the beginning of second semester. Nothing will ever be as epic.**

 _We currently have teams CRDL and ABRN in detention although ABRN merely retaliated when Cardin hit Arslan in the face with pudding._ **  
189\. Cinder Fall and Weiss Schnee are the queens of the school, Nora not you.**

 **Seriously challenging them for their crowns is a death wish.**

 _Nora didn't mind so much once she found out that she and Ruby were the 'princesses' of the school. Ruby was crown princess but that was okay with everyone. She already ruled the school anyways besides Nora got to break the legs of everyone who messed with Ruby and get away with it, more so than usual at least, since she was the 'Princess Guard'._

 _ **Thank you for numbers 176 to 189 Anastasia Fall**_

 _ **190.**_ **If something breaks, either tell a teacher or Ruby. Don't try to fix it yourself**

 _Ruby was a mechanical genius for a REASON_

 **191\. Never challenge Arslan, Nora, Yang, or Coco to an arm wrestling match, even when they hold back it usually ends in a broken arm**

 _Cardin tried arm wrestling with Nora…she accidentally broke his arm in three places._

 **192\. Oh for the love of! Don't use Yo mama jokes on teams RWBY or JNPR, it will upset Ruby and piss off the others**

 _Lark tried starting a Yo mama contest with Ruby…he was still running and hiding from everyone after making Ruby cry._

 **193\. Never challenge Ruby to a race, she will outrun you all in a nano-second, quite literally. Oobleck is the only one who stands a chance**

 _The idiot who bet five hundred lien that he could beat Ruby in a race obviously was new, has yet to read the list, just plain dumb, or didn't know what her semblance was._

 **194\. Never challenge Ruby, Yang, or Cinder to a drinking contest, their semblance's metabolize liquor like it's water.**

 **A. And both Ruby and Yang are still underage people**

 _No one was sure what was worse, that Ruby could outdrink most of the Atlas military…or the fact that Qrow was literally crying with pride over his nieces drinking ability_

 **195\. Do not let Ruby watch Disney movies, she will get you all to re-enact them**

 _She pouted and Weiss agreed to make a snowy kingdom using Dust and play the part of Elsa. Now everyone had a new reason to call her Ice Queen_

 **196\. If Ruby tells you that you don't want to know, believe her**

 **A. Goodwitch was in therapy after insisting**

 _Goodwitch had asked how many different ways of castration that Ruby knew out of morbid curiosity…she was seen taking notes before she needed therapy_

 **197\. Ruby has been known to work at a small bakery off the main road on weekend, everyone goes to visit at least three times during her shift**

 _Ruby decided to get a job on the weekends to help pay for expenses so she didn't rely on anyone else…the bakery has never been more popular and has had lines around the corner and down the road._

 **198\. Weekly therapy sessions are now mandatory don't try to get away**

 **A. Ruby has permission to hunt you down and force you to attend**

 _Blake tried skipping once, she was trounced up like a thanksgiving turkey and dragged into the room within a minute_

 **199\. Teams Rwby, Jnpr, Cfvy and the Beacon are not allowed to go gamble at any gambling game, lottery games and casino at all they clean the place out especially Ruby, Jaune, Coco and Ozpin**

 _On the plus side we have more money own more stores, blacksmiths, dust mince, new teachers, and a few favor them before plus a giant warehouse area for our giant robot and other items._

 **200.** **Who knew Ruby was related to Toriko, Luffy, and Tsuna?**

 _And Tsuna Garden for her younger cousins flame type Midnight Flames are a true flame part of the Sky Flames along with two more the first given to his cousin to protect and keeps safe plus Tuscany and his other Garden will join Beacon Tomorrow be prepared for more cute to COME._

 **201\. Whoever showed Ruby Kamen Rider, Miraculous Labybug and Xiaolin Showdown is in for a long talk about what he or she did and detention for five years.**

 _On the plus side psychologically Weiss loves her new sword and pendent along with Icic._

 _ **Thank you for numbers 199 to 201 TrimusicaDrag00n90**_


	7. Chapter 7

**Beacon Rules**

 **By: FunahoMisaki**

 **(A/N: I own nothing and read last chapter)**

 **202.** **NEVER allow Teams RWBY, JNPR, or CFVY to watch Bleach or any other Shonen anime.**

 **A. That means you CRDL**

 **B. GRIMM DAMMIT CINDER.  
** _Ruby somehow replicated the bankai of one of the scariest women on the show…she also began studying healing as well and copied Unohana's smile_ **  
203\. Never let Ruby, Nora, or Cinder watch Star Wars Ep I. We don't need any Podracers in the world we already have a death star.**

 **A. That means you Yang, Jaune.**

 **B. GRIMM DAMMIT PROFESSOR OOBLECK!**

 _In his defense he didn't think the three of them would actually make some of them…against that however was the fact that he preordered one_

 _ **Thank you Kyuubi-kun45 for 202 and 203**_

 **204\. Ruby is not allowed to watch or be shown gurren lagann especially the second half.**

 **A. Damn it Mercury!**

 _In his defense he thought she was too cute and innocent to replicate most of the more dangerous and traumatizing things_

 _ **Thank you for that one Mortis Timere**_

 **205\. Do not dare Nora to pull all the teeth out of a Grimm without killing it.**

 **A. She'll do and it'll be loud.**

 **B. Yes Ruby's new Grimm tooth necklace does look wonderful on her.**

 _It was a dare from a third year…he didn't think she'd do it and give the necklace she made from the teeth to Ruby…it does look good on Ruby and fit her gothic theme though_

 _ **Thank you for that one Ultima-owner**_

 **206\. Neptune would like it if people would stop confusing him with Mercury Black.**

 **A. Even if he is voiced by Yuri Lowenthal...**

 **B. But seriously, they're not that similar!  
** _Russel kept getting them mixed up when they would talk to him when he's not paying attention since their voices are so similar…it ticked them both off_ **  
2o7. Ironwood would kindly request that people stop giving Penny glasses of water to cure her hiccups, it doesn't work.**

 **A. The jury is still out on the breath holding thing, though...  
** _Seriously people. Water plus Robot, not a good idea_ **  
208\. Weiss demands you stop claiming that she and Mercury are an item!**

 **A. Seriously, how did you even come to that conclusion anyway?**

" _As if I'd ever date that brainless oaf." Weiss said scoffing while hiding the picture she took of Mercury on her scroll_

 _ **Thank you for 206 to 208 The Laymen**_

 **209.** **Do not let Ruby watch terminator. We do not need another robot army.**

 **A. IRONWOOD**

 **B. They only obey Ruby  
** _In his defense he knew exactly what would happen when he showed it to her… Penny was happy with all of her new 'siblings' and had taken to calling Ruby 'mom' like her siblings did._ **  
210\. Do not let Ruby read or watch Naruto. She will recreate the shadow clone jutsu.  
** _Honestly we're more upset at the fact that we can't tell them apart than we are that she did it. No one can tell which one is the real Ruby anymore_ **  
211\. Do not let Ruby meet Apollo.**

 **A. She can now kill Grimm without leaving Beacon.  
** _How the God of the Sun thought he could woo her we have no idea… all the students and teachers had fun proving to him why it was a bad idea… they didn't mind him nearly adopting her once he learned that she was not dateable_ **  
212\. Do not let Ruby meets Artemis goddess of the hunt, it is as bad as her meeting Apollo.**

 **A. Damn it. She's now immortal.  
** _We don't really mind her never being able to die so much as most of the students hate the fact she's now being protected by two Olympians that will kill or maim anyone who flirts with her, Artemis was more than happy to adopt Ruby though_ **  
213\. Again with Star Wars. We do not need her with a lightsaber.**

 **A. YANG  
** _Ruby made several lightsabers and somehow made a light scythe for herself… we can only be thankful she didn't try to replicate the force…yet_ **  
Monty, who showed her Transformers?**

 **A. And for that matter Transformers Beast Wars?**

 _Penny got even more siblings, this time bigger ones… Ironwood nearly cried in both happiness that she made one for him and shame that none of his mechanics or scientists could do it but a fifteen year old could without trying._

 _ **Thank you for numbers 209 to 214 Black Ace 0**_

 **215\. Whoever gave Ruby the idea for an anti-matter gun is DEAD**

 _Seriously? Who the Dust thought that would be a good idea! I thought it was already established she could build almost anything!_

 _ **Thank you for that one Xenolis**_

 **216.** **In the case of war, Ruby is not allowed to be a part of the fighting due to her being adorable, no matter how effective her adorableness is against the enemy.  
** _The White Fang tried attacking the school once… they saw Rub pouting as she got ready to fight and immediately surrendered so that the didn't risk hurting her… most of the students and teachers kept Ruby locked in a barricaded and hidden room whenever the school was attacked now. She was too cute to let get hurt._ **  
217\. When Ruby graduates, she is to be given a room at beacon so she can live there FOREVER.**

 _None of the teachers mind, and besides if nothing else she can help out the other students or maybe be a teacher for future scythe wielders… immortality may be a curse for some people but if it lets the teachers and students keep Ruby forever then they don't mind one bit._

 _ **Thank you for 216 and 217 Elements 1999**_

 **218.** **Do not let Ruby watch Rideback.**

 **A. YANG now has a new and improved, and at the same time a more dangerous bike.  
** _Oh come ON people seriously! We've already established Ruby can build just about anything! Don't encourage her!_ _And for that matter any strange vehicle._

 _ **Thank you for that one Black Ace 0**_

 **219.** **Okay, who the Hell hypnotized Jaune! He's evil again and is somehow immune to Ruby's cuteness! Who keeps doing this!?**

 **A. Oh God! Now he thinks he's Hazama from Blazblue! He's even fighting like him too! Why can't he fight like this when he's normal!?  
** _This time it took all of Beacon to turn him back to normal. And when he saw the severely injured Ruby and the rest of their friends standing in between the two of them like a shield as they looked at him with fear in their eyes, a guilt ridden Jaune dropped out of Beacon and turned himself over to the police. He is currently awaiting trial for crimes against the 4 kingdoms. Ruby said that once she was feeling better she'd convince them to let him go…no one doubts she could do it either._

 _ **Thank you for this one Shadow**_

 **220\. Beating up team CRDL is against the rules without having explicit proof of their actions and presenting it to a professor BEFORE said beat up.**

 **A. Seriously, this rule is in effect so long as CRDL continues to assist Ruby in her "projects" they suffer enough as it is.  
** _After a few more hospitalizations, Cardin came up with the brilliant idea, that if they assist Ruby in her work, she would help keep them safe from reprisals, it worked but now they are faced with a near endless list of projects that get more terrifying and dangerous as they go on, not to mention the burning envy of everybody else for getting to spend so much time with the cute reaper. Though people shudder at the stories, that Cardin shares sometimes, of creations that should never have been invented let alone thought of._ ****

 **221\. Whoever showed Ruby the Warhammer 40k series, needs to be purged by fire, after execution by firing squad ( Grim Dammit, that is not a Warhammer 40k reference) or congratulated, depending on who you ask.  
worth it**

 **A. Damnit Ozpin, Why must you torture me so?!**

 _CRDL and SSSN were the first victims, I mean volunteers, and Ruby made them into Space Marines, she then made her team and NDGO into Sisters of Battle, all of them with authentic armor and weapons. JPNR and the rest of the teams were given various Imperial Guard weapons and equipment and vehicles, while the professors were given Inquisitors outfits and equipment. Ruby also managed to open the warp for use, though the demons that come through, are a small concern, seeing as those that don't die of Ruby's cuteness, tend to be overkilled by the massive amount of weaponry, munitions, vehicles, mechas and or abilities that Ruby created and shares with the rest of Beacon._

 _ **Thank you for 220 to 221 Masterix**_

 **222.** **Never Ever Insult Cinder around Ruby. She will MURDER you  
** _Neon decided to get her team to pick on her, the end result was Neon and her team being in the hospital wing for a month and they got off lightly._ ****

 **223\. Weiss is currently trying to become the Winter maiden, It is advised the original one be on guard as she is taking Mercury and Emerald with her to yoink the power.**

 **A. OH DEAR RA WE WERE TOO LATE… Be warned Weiss is now the Winter maiden.  
** _At least now she couldn't get too upset for everyone calling her Ice Queen, she now fit the title more than ever._

 **224\. Never let Ruby read Creepypasta. Cinder will abruptly set you still has nightmares about slender man.**

 **A. In addition, team RWBY now lives with team CMNE. Cinder and her team are more then happy to house the RWBY girls.  
** _Team CMNE was now the center of jealousy in the school…and Ruby has been known to fall asleep everywhere then wake up wide eyed or screaming thanks to nightmares…no matter how much everyone tells her that she's too cute for slender man to hurt._

 **225\. Be advised Cinder Fall and Ruby Rose have taken over the Atlas Military. Do not mess with anyone they are friends with.**

 **A. We are not responsible for bodily harm caused by the attacks**

 **B. We are not going to go fight off the entire fleet of the atlas army  
** _Honestly no one was surprised at this, due to her cuteness and mechanical achievements, Ruby had Ironwood wrapped around her pinkie…Penny didn't mind her 'mom' being her boss either._

 **226\. Do not kill the Flareon that is randomly loose in Remnant. It belongs to Cinder, and the eevee is Rubys.**

 _A Random team of fourth years decided to try and kill the two were abruptly shot and burned to ash. Beacon now has one less team…and no one really cares all that much._

 **227\. Be advised the Purple Sunfire Platinum snake is Rubys Pet. Attempting to kill it will cause her and Cinder to murder you as well as the rest of team CMEN AND RWBY.  
** _And if you somehow survive them, the rest of Beacon is waiting in line along with the Atlas military because the murder attempt on one of her pets made Ruby cry._ **  
228\. Melanie and Militia are not interested in your advances Sun. Seriously-Stop it  
** _After they nearly neutered him you'd think that he would get the hint._

 **229\. Due to another unexplained explosion, Cinder Fall and Yang Xaio long are not to be chemistry partners. The result was worse then with Weiss.**

 _Seriously only aura shielding protected the students from a fiery death thanks to the two pyros._

 _ **Thank you for numbers 222 to 228 Anastasia Fall**_

 **230\. For as much of a wimp as he is, you must NOT under ANY circumstances, deny Sky Lark his chocolate bars.  
** _Coco is still attending therapy sessions to help her deal with the trauma..._

 _ **Thank you for that one, Guest**_

 **231\. Don't try to ever disrespect General Ironwood in the company of Atlas Military or Penny**

 **A. Most people don't know of the bazooka hidden underneath Penny's arm**

 **B. You get tackled faster by Atlas Military than Ruby when carrying cookies.  
** _A third year student tried disrespecting General Ironwood. Last thing he knew was being tackled by a more than irritated Penny. I swear there was foam around the corners of her mouth._

 _ **Thank you for that one TheBrokenBottle**_

 **232\. Yes Ruby made both the lightsaber and the Monado, no you cannot pay her to make you a weapon.**

 **A) If you must have a weapon all negotiations have to go through Weiss.  
** _Ironwood swore that as soon as she retired or got bored of being a Huntress, he'd hire her on the spot no matter how much it cost._ **  
233\. No Weiss is not dating both Mercury and Neptune, and don't ask her if she is, being frozen kills you.  
** _Seriously people? What part of no pissing off the Winter Maiden don't you get?_ **  
234\. We don't know who the four teens calling themselves 'Power Rangers' are, just assume Ruby did it and move on, if she didn't that either she or her team will take care of it.  
** _No one even batted an eye at the four strange teens, they were used to Ruby and/or Nora doing stranger things… Several teams even guided them to Ruby thinking that they might have ran away from her or gotten lost._ **  
235\. You cannot convince Ruby to upgrade Penny, we're not sure what would happen, but it would either be amazing or horrifying, and we're not risking it.**

 **A) GODDAMMIT!**

 _Well…now no one with two brain cells would dare attack Atlas. On the other hand, Ozpin made a fortune with that video of Ironwood crying again._

 _ **Thank you for numbers 232 to 235 nahte123456**_

 **236\. Ruby is not to watch anymore Power Rangers. We do not need a megazord.**

 **A. BLAKE**

 **B. Grimm population is at an all time low.  
** _We're not even surprised that she managed to build it in secret…if she doesn't stop though we'll all be out of a job._

 **237\. Ruby is not to watch Infinite Stratos.**

 **A. Do you want her to go faster than she already is?**

 **B. Damn it Penny.  
** _In Penny's defense she didn't know that Ruby could go any faster…everyone should have expected her to do the impossible…again._

 **238\. Ruby is not to make a paladin in her likeness that can go Ruby speed.**

 **A. Nor is she to make a paladin size Crescent Rose.**

 _We need to let the Grimm have a break and repopulate a good bit or else we'll be out of a job. Therefore Ruby's under 24/7 surveillance again._

 **239\. Interdiction from letting Ruby play Devil May Cry anymore.**

 **A. She tried to recreate Pandora and was so into her work that she forgot to eat and sleep. She is expected to make a full recovery soon, don't worry.**

 **B. I also would have thought that the person who showed her the game knew better.**

 _No one was sure which was more surprising, that Ruby passed out before completing her newest project, or that almost all of Vale and Atlas was at the hospital waiting for her to wake up_

 _ **Thank you for that one Noitaerc**_

 **240.** **Don't try to contaminate Ruby's cookies**

 _She can always tell and will hunt you down_

 **241\. Watch out for the rose petals form Ruby's semblance**

 _Everyone thought they were harmless…until she used them to slice apart a bullhead_

 **242\. Taiyang Xaio Long is not to be messed with**

 _The man's an expert hunter and taught Yang all she knows… but he's much stronger_

 **243\. Someone get Winter to lighten up to people**

 _She's worse than her sister ever was…everyone's betting that she'll last less than a week around Ruby_

 _ **Thank you for numbers 240 to 243 knight7572**_

 **244\. Don't ever let Ruby watch the shows either Pokemon or Yugioh.**

 _She recreated the Duel Disks, holograms included, and got Weiss and Winter to sponsor Jaune to draw the cards for Yu-Gi-Oh. No one knows how she did it but Ruby managed to get several pokemon and is allowed to keep them_

 _ **Thank you for that one Peacelovefairy**_

 **245\. Unless they attack you first, no more attacking or killing the Grimm**

 **A. Because we don't want to be out of a job!**

 _Ruby's various inventions took down hundreds of Grimm…we now need them to repopulate so we don't close the school and go looking for other jobs._

 **246\. Ruby must now pass any new inventions by all the teachers before she attempts to build them.**

 **A. General Ironwood can no longer give her permission, he just wants the awesome inventions himself**

 _Ruby constantly outdoes the entire Atlas military with her weapons and inventions…Ironwood is pissed that Opzin got to her first._

 **247\. Do not ask Ruby if she is dating anyone or who she is dating…she will tell you she is dating everyone**

 **A. Blame Yang.**

 _Apparently Yang described dating as two friends getting together to get to know each other, and that if you date someone then you're getting to know them better…Ruby listened and promptly claimed she was dating everyone…no one could decide to be happy or pissed at that. Of course Yang thought it was hilarious._

 **248\. Yang is no longer allowed to tell Ruby anything about anything romance related, she does a horrible job**

 _Yeah not a lot of people were happy with Yang when they figured it out, it was hilarious to see the looks on everyone's faces at Ruby claim to be dating to everyone though._

 **249\. If you notice Ruby looking paler than usual or sickly then take her to the hospital immediately.**

 _Not many knew it but Ruby's semblance caused her a slew of health problems should she not monitor it until she started collapsing or coughing up blood due to muscle or organ degeneration. The sight of her coughing up blood in the cafeteria scared and horrified the rest of Beacon more than they'll ever admit_

 **250\. If you ever need a lawyer…just hire Ruby. She works for strawberries or cookies and is a hell of a lot better than most lawyers.**

 _Jaune was going to stand trial for his crimes against the kingdoms, but Ruby had pointed out that he had been hypnotized and could not be held accountable for his actions during that time…then she pouted and Jaune had been cleared of all charges and re-enrolled at Beacon in record time._


	8. Chapter 8

**Beacon Rules**

 **By: FunahoMisaki**

 **(A/N: I own nothing and read last chapter)**

 **251.** **Don't dare Ruby to make a pokeball**

 **A. looking at you Nora**

 **B. Weiss?! What the hell?!  
** _She gonna make it and catch em all in the positive side we don't need so much space for the pets_

 **252\. Weiss you're not a "Poke-Grimm Professor" you can't give pokeballs and pokedex to other teams**

 **A. Even if they ask**

 **B. Where did you even find a pokedex?**

 **C. Ruby duh**

 **D. I should have known and now you can't have Ruby-time  
** _In other notices we have now a new class given by Weiss  
_ **253.** **Don't tease Weiss for her love for Pokemon if she don't make you pay her team will**

 **A. And we don't mean the rest of RWBY  
** _The wannabe bad guy who tried is missing now and her team is oddly smug_ **  
254\. Don't show Ruby, Yang or Nora One Piece**

 **A. Grimm Damn it Jaune! Now she's trying to recreate the devil fruit**

 **B. Nora now have the Gura-Gura no Mi. Run for your lives!  
** _In Jaunes defense he didn't think Ruby could recreate that, its fruit not machine after all it didn't help anyone when Nora could crack the air_ **  
255\. Whoever said to Ruby that Crescent Rose is a Zanpakuto is in big trouble. Apparently Crescent Rose** _ **is**_ **a Zanpakuto who was in Shikai state**

 **A. Now Ruby is looking for hollows and is trying to reach Bankai**

 **B. Ruby learned Shunpo too careful everyone  
** _As if she wasn't fast and dangerous enough as it is_ **  
256\. Ruby while it is nice make a gift for a friend just buy a pre-made gift the next time Team JNPR doesn't need more firepower**

 **A. And they don't need an AI either  
** _On the plus side no-one make fun of Jaune again and he became a big fan of Tony Stark_ **  
257\. Movie night is forbidden from now on because it gives Ruby ideas**

 **A. Who was the genius to put Jurassic Park on?**

 **B. Ruby now has a velociraptor added to her pokeball  
** _It was a good thing no one was dumb enough to show her Jurassic World. We don't need and Indominous Rex around._ **  
258\. A T-Rex is not a sparring partner**

 **A. We are watching you Yang, Pyrrha and Nora  
** _Really girls the repair bills are high enough_ **  
259\. To the fourth-year who was seen on Chaotic in his scroll please the next time see in your room  
** _Really Ruby was walking by and now team RWBY, JNPR and CVFY have chaotic accounts and Ruby has Perim under her control_ **  
260\. Velvet we can understand that you like Magic School Bus but please don't let Ruby see other chapters  
** _Upside we have the coolest transport and school trips take that other kingdoms/schools downside Ruby upgrade Crescent Rose to fit Ms. Frizzle ideas_ **  
261\. Please remember no matter how godly Ruby appears her fathers name is not Hephesto**

 **A. And her mothers name was Summer not Hestia, Eris, Aphrodite or Artemis**

 **B. And yes we can see the similarity between Artemis and Ruby  
** _She was angry with the rumors about that because they insinuate that Yang is not her sister and Yang was annoyed to_ **  
262\. Coco just because you like Sailor Moon does not mean you can drag Ruby to see it**

 **A. And no because she was curious is not an answer**

 **B. Velvet please stop Coco from transforming with the pen that Ruby gave her  
** _Ruby took the transform pens like a challenge, created one and gave it to Coco_ **  
263\. Don't compare W.I.T.C.H. to RWBY we don't need more damage to the school  
** _One of the teachers (cough Goodwitch cough) saw the necklace appear before Ruby, grabbed it and went to the marble palace to give them a stern…talking to, about why Ruby nor anyone else on Remnant were not to have the powers associated with the job._ **  
264\. For the love of Monty don't give Ruby more ideas! She is talking with Izzy now!**

 **A. CRDL we mean you  
** _Cardin was talking about Digimon with his teammates and didn't know Ruby was close enough to hear_ **  
265\. No matter what you hear Ruby is not a mafia leader she just has the Vale's Criminal World wrapped around her pinkie**

 _Seriously she has Cinder around her pinkie what do you think?_

 _ **Thank you for numbers 251 to 265 orion kuroi.**_

 **266.** **Do not show Ruby the X-Men movies, we don't need her creating Sentinals that can adapt to any sembalence, or trying to give herself retractable claws**

 _Well…she didn't create the sentinals or give herself retractable claws…instead she adapted her aura to be able to let her shape shift._

 **267\. Do NOT, under ANY circumstances, let Ruby watch Mirai Nikki.**

 **A. CINDER I SWEAR TO GOD YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS  
** _Ruby now had a phone that could tell the future. People did not know whether to be amazed or terrified._

 **(** _ **Thank you Hyperion-OO for 267)**_

 **268\. So it seems that the Councils are vindictive and after Ruby and Jaune left, decided to punish him anyway. So as of 7:00 this morning Jaune Arc is hereby Forbidden to own a weapon and is to spend the rest of his life, and the lives of his descendants, as the private/personal Butler of Ruby Rose. Please send all weapons in your possession to your family and pick up your uniform from Glynda Goodwitch. Good luck Jaune, and I'm sorry.** _  
No one had any idea on how to react. On the one hand, they were jealous of the blond boy, but at the same time they pitied him because it was now legally impossible for him to achieve his dream of being a Hero. On the other hand, 75% of Beacon's female population was now jealous of Ruby after seeing Jaune in his new uniform, and the fact that he dotted on the girl had and foot._

 _ **(Thank you Shadow for that one!)**_

 **269\. Do not tease team RWBY for having dysfunctional family**

 **A. They will beat you up for it**

 **B. Their friends will make you pay for making them sad**

 **C. Their family will kick your ass, they are after all professional hunters/specialist**

 _Seriously though how Neon thought making that comment anywhere near them was a good idea…no one will ever learn_

 **270\. For absolutely no reason you should give Blake catnip, stare pointedly at Yang**

 **A. We do not want to see what Blake can do when she is high**

 **B. Team RWBY will just end up in even more trouble than usual**

 _You think she would have learned after the first time_

 _ **(Thank you for 269 and 270 Sakurako Nagasaki)**_

 **271\. If you value your life never ever say anything negative about Ruby's cloak or her mother**

 **A. That includes you Neon Katt**

 _Her style is to piss off her enemies and make them sloppy…she tried it on Ruby and was sent through several walls thanks to Ruby's semblance._

 _ **(Thank you for that one knight7572)**_

 **272\. Ruby made a dimension portal to Skyrim and became one of the Deadric Princes, We told people many times that she's very smart and knows if someone's talking about video games.**

 **A. On the bright side, she made Remnant her plane of Oblivion and we made a statue of her in Vale town square so followers only need to give her offerings of strawberries and cookies on her summoning day which is also her birthday so they don't get confused.**

 **B. She also made friends with some of the Princes like Sheogorath, Nocturnal, Meridia, Azura, Sanguine, and Clavicus Vile along with his dog Barbas since she really likes dogs by the way.**

 **C. The only downsides are some upstart adventurers may think her scythe is her Daedric artifact and attempt to gain her favor in order to get it for themselves so be sure to stop them and be on the lookout for these vigilants of Stendarr who consider the Daedric Princes to be evil and since Ruby happens to be one they may try to target her even though she's very nice unless you anger her greatly so be sure to have a couple people escorting her when traveling in Skyrim.**

 _Honestly after she saw the game for the first time no one was surprised at anything other than her needing to be escorted. They were getting too used to Ruby doing the impossible to care anymore_

 _ **(Thank you for this one ShadowWolf15)**_

 **273\. Do not show Ruby, Naruto we don't need her figuring out seals**

 **A. Damn it Jaune Ruby now knows how to use the flying thunder god technique, and is even faster, and has put a seal on teams CVFY, WBY, JNPR and basically everyone she likes**

 _To be honest they couldn't fault him for showing her the show, he was her servant now so he didn't really have a choice…at least now Ruby could help Jaune achieve his dream using other methods besides weapons._

 _ **(Thank you for this one BisexualGarnet)**_

 **274\. Thanks to Ruby Jaune now can use Seals moderately well, knows Taijutsu, and is working on unlocking his Chakra…**

 _The Council was not happy that they managed to find a way around their orders and that Jaune could still achieve his dream, on the upside no one had to try and find a new leader for Team JNPR now since Ozpin was more than happy to accept Jaune's new application with his new skills and abilities. He was still Ruby's servant though._

 **275\. Yes, Cinder has now taken over Remanent. No, she does not require a harem.**

 **A. Aside from Teams RWBY, CMNE, SSSN, JNPR, CFVY, and only when CRDL is 'assisting' Ruby with her testing, we are all required to call Queen Cinder, Queen Cinder.**

 **B. Do NOT start a revolution to end her tyranny. Ruby does a good enough job reigning in her evilness.**

 **. The person who described Queen Cinder's personality as 'evil' has now been hospitalized and will not get out until the next decade. It is safe to assume she has eyes and ears everywhere.**

 **D. She really isn't that bad... And no, I'm not saying that because there is a flaming arrow pointed at my head... It's a scythe at my neck.**

 _Cinder wasn't really that bad of a ruler when Ruby kept her in check but whenever Ruby was in danger or too busy…barricade yourself into wherever you can as long as she's not in the same room…then pray that Ruby gets done doing whatever quickly._

 _ **(Thank you for that one dudebladeX)**_


	9. Chapter 9

**Beacon Rules**

 **By: FunahoMisaki**

 **(A/N: I own nothing and read last chapter)**

 **276** _._ **Whoever arranged the "friendly" three way free for all between Ruby, Penny, and Pyrrha... RUN.  
** _Honestly the fight destroyed most of Beacon and they didn't even go all out! Who thought it was good idea?!_ **  
277\. To whoever is responsible for sneaking Ruby into oversized animal pajamas, please stop for your own safety.**

 **A. We get it. She's adorable when she first wakes up, and the animals just make it better. But after repeatedly gaining access to one of the most secure people on the planet, security gets twitchy. Glynda was proposing claymore mines, and we're not sure she was kidding.  
** _She's not_ **  
278\. Ruby Rose is not for on call weapon repair.**

 **A. First, giving Ruby your weapon is giving her implied consent to any "modifications" she may give it. Don't cry if your weapon summons Cthullu for some reason.**

 **B. Yes Ruby will take a look if you ask her nicely. She's really too nice to say no. Do we all remember the "Courier Ruby" incident?**

 **C. If Ruby reaches the point that the schematics all blend together in her head you might get an awesome superweapon... but you're more likely to get a horrible mechanical failure at the worst possible time. Roll the dice at your own peril.**

 **D. For Oum's sake, she's only 15. Let her enjoy her childhood while she can, twisted though it may be.**

 _Honestly after the first few summonings Cthullu wanted to meet Ruby…the Hunters nearby took that to mean that he wanted to hurt her somehow…he is unable to be summoned for another two months._

 **279\. I THOUGHT WE WERE THROUGH GIVING RUBY IDEAS! WHO LET HER WATCH GUYVER, AND WHICH KAMEN RIDER DRIVER DOES SHE HAVE?**

 _Many couldn't tell what horrified them more, the fact that someone let her watch the show…or the fact that no one could tell what Driver she had until she used it_

 _ **(Thank you for numbers 276 to 279 Archangel N. Bloodhaven! Sorry I screwed that up!)**_

 **280\. Don't let Ruby meet Black Widow, Matia Hill, Bobbi Morse or Melinda May**

 **A. Goddamnit Yang! We know it was you that told both the Lady Sif of Marvel and of Percy Jackson (Fanfiction The Exiled) about Ruby and led them to her.**

 **B. And now Athena, Aphrodite and Hera have met Ruby as well...dear God we are doomed**

 _It would now be appropriate to call Ruby the Princess of the Heavens. She has all of the Olympus and some of the other most powerful immortal women wrapped around her pinkie._

 _ **(Thank you for that one GothicPheonix)**_

 **281\. Whoever is responsible for getting Yang the summer maiden powers must be abruptly shot.**

 **A. She now can kill anyone much easier**

 **B. Cinder now has 3 of 4 maidens under her control  
** _At least they were all protective of Ruby which meant she really is the safest girl in the world._

 **282\. Due to Ruby and Cinder Increasing the Population of Grimm by unknown means, The population is at an all-time high. You may now resume killing them.  
** _A few perverts were spreading rumors about how the two increased the Grimm population… they were abruptly silenced brutally._ **  
283\. Melanie and Neptune are Not A Thing. Melanie is perfectly happy with Scarlet.  
** _We don't even know how that rumor started._ **  
284\. Weiss and Mercury are now Married. Juane stop hitting on her because it will result in bodily harm  
** _Weiss was more upset at the fact that Ruby looked better than her in the Maid of Honors dress than she was upset about her father refusing to attend._ **  
285\. Ruby now knows everything about dating be advised she and Cinder are now in a bigger relationship then before.**

 **A. No Ren this does not give you the excuse to blackmail Cinder.  
** _We said she knew everything about dating not sex people, she's still confused about that thankfully._ **  
286\. Whoever gave Nora the Subspace Bomb is to be immediately arrested for am act of war. If Ruby Hadn't sent it back to the dimension it came from, the world would not exist right now.**

 **A. We are grateful to team CRDL for stopping Nora from setting it off**

 _For once the boys were the heroes and humble about it…mainly because Ruby had ordered them to distract Nora while she took care of the bomb…who knew Cardin could juggle and dance at the same time?_ **  
287\. Juniors Bar is not a brawling arena Yang.**

 **A. Seriously just stop it you've already trashed it twice.  
** _It's only because she's his heaviest drinker that he even lets her in the door anymore._ **  
288\. Whoever showed Cinder and Team RWBY jem and the holograms is to be shot. The girls now believe they're the holograms, and JNPR Believe they are the Missfits.  
** _Honestly it took the professors a week to convince the girls they weren't holograms…team JNPR are still misfits though._ **  
289\. Ice Queen by Within Temptation is not a valid song to play when Weiss or Winter walk in the room. Remember those Maiden Powers Weiss Has? She will use them.  
** _The only one who can safely do that is Ruby, Yang uses this to her advantage whenever she can and usually ends up hospitalized because of Ruby's inability to lie._ **  
290\. Cinder is not Summer Rose. Stop with the theories people**

 **A. Ruby is Dating her! She would** _ **not**_ **date her mother  
** _Besides Summer had pale skin, a white cloak and silver eyes. Cinder looks nothing like her._ **  
291\. Would Emerald Sustrai please stop stealing everyone's stuff? It is getting to the point where we have to have Atlas Guards posted outside everybody's rooms.  
** _At least she wasn't dumb enough to steal from Ruby's room, Goodwitch wasn't joking about the mines._

 _ **(Thank you Anastasia Fall for numbers 281 to 291)**_

 **292.** **Cookies are not a good power source.**

 **A. YANG!**

 **B. Ruby now has a cookie powered dart gun.  
** _It actually runs on cookies and is capable of bringing down a raging Nevermore._

 **293\. Ruby is not to kidnap bakers to make cookies.**

 **A. Ruby put the dart gun down!**

 _She didn't seem to realize she only had to ask nicely and she'd have all the cookies she would ever want or need._

 _ **(Thank you for numbers 292 and 293 ultima-owner)**_

 **294.** **It is allowed for teams RWBY or JNPR watch the crime shows NCIS and Law & Order occasionally for edutainment purposes.**

 **A. Our crime rates have NEVER been lower.**

 _Ruby and her team were great detectives that could always grab the criminals, and Team JNPR were great at forensics. Just don't ever show Ruby Law and Order SVU, we don't need her to see that at all._

 _ **(Thank you for that one Kyuubi-kun45)**_

 **295\. Weiss Schnee is not allowed to dress up as Queen Elsa from Frozen, nor is she allowed to create a snow castle high in the mountains.  
** _She tried once, it didn't end well. Enough said…well that and the fact that everyone had new reasons to call her Ice Queen, only now it had Snow Queen added to it._ **  
296\. Nora's Ursa and Ruby's Beowulf Grimm are not allowed to play together. Several students still show marks of their biting. Nobody dares to kill them, because their owners are much more terrifying.**

 _Apparently the two had a competition of who could bite the most…Sniffer won by two bites, The Ursa, called Syrup of course, was pouting for days_

 _ **(Thank you for 295 and 296 SimplyRV)**_

 **297\. Ruby is not to watch NCIS. Do we want her to learn the Gibbs slap?**

 **A. Grimm it, Jaune.**

 _To be fair he was still her servant so he had to follow her orders first and foremost…_

 **298.** **Ruby is not to upgrade the bullhead.**

 _Do we REALLY need to explain this one people?_

 _ **(Thank you for numbers 297 and 298 Black Ace 0)**_

 **299\. If you value your life and want to see another day never ever hurt Yang Xaio Long**

 **A. That goes for you Adam**

 _Really? Ruby broke a boy for making her sister cry…what do you think she'd do to someone who hurts her sister?_

 _ **(Thank you for 299 knight7275)**_

 **300\. For Monty's sake people don't lock Goodwitch and Ozpin into a closet together!**

 **A. They are both highly trained Hunters and dangerous as all hell…plus they aren't an item!**

 _Most of the students and staff were laughing their asses off when Cinder and Emerald pranked the two adults by locking them in together…Cinder was abruptly dethroned and Emerald slammed into detention for a year._


End file.
